The Bathtub

YouTub:Baby Got Book

I don't want to step on anyone's feet by posting in place of Phylan, but I feel a certain affinity for YouTub (it being my brainchild). I thought I'd do a quick and dirty search for book videos.

 

YouTub: I'm so exxxciiittteeeddd

OK, with that out of the way, watch this guy make instant coffee with a giant god damned laser:

Anyway, what kind of giant vagina heats his shit with a laser and then uses it to make tea? Lame.

YouTub: Happy Rosh Hashanah

This was a difficult theme because there are too many bands with songs containing the word "holiday," and I'm not some damned jukebox. I did, however, find the work of genius below. I don't know what the hell it is but I've always said that if there is anything that could make Jewish holiday rituals more accessible to the mainstream, it's amateur hip hop. Also, sexy anthropomorphic apple slices.

YouTub: Creepy Toy Commercial ITP (IN THIS POST)

In the bleak times before I had a DVR, I actually had to watch commercials (a time of my life that is thankfully fading from memory), and I got the sense that children's toys today kind of suck. It turns out this is just because I have a crappy memory. Toy commercials from the seventies and eighties had some pretty terrible production values and advertised some pretty lame looking toys. For example:

YouTub: A Haiku

I hate work a lot
It's very busy and I got slammed
last night, no post now

YouTub: Kalamazoooooo

. . . don't you know that I can't find a video of youuuuuu

Yes, Kalamazoo, as KELLYq hinted at, is probably my favorite Ben Folds song. He doesn't seem to ever play it live, so there are no videos of it, and judging by some YouTube searches, the only interesting thing going on in Kalamazoo, MI is amateur hockey. So here is an acapella version of Ben's interpretation of a classic Dr. Dre masterpiece (language alert/headphones time):

YouTub: Tyra Banks is endorsed for a leadership position in this post

I always knew that, one day, this blog would present an opportunity for me to post a clip from Tyra. Unfortunately it's on when I'm supposed to be at a job pretending to do stuff, so I never get to see it, but I was introduced to Tyra herself thanks to a certain Tubtributor enjoying the godawful shitheap that is America's Next Top Model. I'm convinced she's the most obnoxious person alive, and possibly the dumbest person who manages to still somehow seem pretentious, but these are theories for another post. The point for this post is that she thought it would be a good idea to put a crazy racist family on her show and feed their kids some painfully obvious scripted lines to hammer home the horror of it all.

YouTub: Sorry Tubizens

No post today.

YouTub: They Stole Me Lucky Charms!

Note: This is a special Internet Potato version of YouTub wherein Caitlar revisits the theme "Fear."

Phylan is much wittier than I and has less tolerance for stupid people and their dumb, self-absorbed antics that they post daily for the world on that special site we call YouTube. But when we were at home the other day, watching YouTube videos, I briefly felt the stinging disdain that he feels for humanity after watching video after video of just plain, stupid, pointless stuff (for inability to use the real word I would like to say). This video, as you will see, sums up just some of the silly things that not only make it on to YouTube, but also on to our daily local news.

YouTub: Now You're Playing with Dynamite

Dedicated Youtubbers will recall that posting antiquated public service announcements is kind of my thing, particularly when they deal with topics that invoke a lot of silly moralizing hysterics. Fortunately, my theme of this week, chosen in a post-division-championship daze, is one such topic, so here are a few I found: