Well, Tubbers, here it is, the week you've been dreading for weeks now. This is the last week that we can all sit here soaking in bubbles and soap and our own filth together. Break out the kleenex and for God's sake, make sure that Stepmom isn't on -- because you'll be crying enough at our farewell posts.
This certainly isn't the first time I've taken my theme choice as an opportunity to pay tribute to the substances that get us by. As I sit at my desk at work with a full-fledged coffeemaker
meant to serve only me, I'm tempted to take a step back and reconsider my daily coffee consumption. But screw that, let's just write tub posts about them!
This will be the 4th theme I've chosen over the course of this wonderful, crazy blog, and each of them has something in common with the others. I've already told a couple of tubbers the connection, and I'd love to see if anyone else can guess it. What do the following words have in common?
Breakfast, Pets, Hits, Sport.
This year, I have decided to take a page from the book of Caitlar and decide to suck it up and be happy about all the premature Christmas decorations that have been popping up since Halloween. In that same spirit, I hope all you bathtubbers enjoy blogging about the impending winter holidays (christmas, chanukkah, kwanzaa, hedonism-day) a little earlier than we need to.
I loved high school. I went to a school named after a poet in a wonderful school district in a Maryland suburb. (I'm sure you can't figure it out...) I am still BFF with my BFFs from high school (idk, my bff rose) and I miss them a whole freaking lot. Also, my current employment involves visiting high schools throughout the state of New Jersey. And my life sometimes resembles episodes of Dawson's Creek. Or a really poor version of Gossip Girl. And sometimes I sing, so it's like High School Musical. I know not everyone relished in their high school experience and may not want to revisit it this week, but great writing does usually come out of horrible experiences. And also, my five-year reunion is this Friday. wooohoooooo
Continue reading "Theme Announcement: Theme for the Week of 11/26 High School!" »
It's a week or so before Thanksgiving, which of course means that it's already Christmas season. Christmas means presents and Santa, and that means toys. Toys are everywhere at this time of year as materialism and capitalism work their combined magic to make adults and children crave play-things. Everyone loves toys! While children beg for dolls that pee and Elmos that dance, adults beg for electronics and gadgets. Enjoy this week of toy-themed posts from the tubbers, each post sure to be better than one of those lead-painted toys made in China.
A wise hero once said "With great power comes great responsibility." Often times in history, responsibility gets replaced with greed and villainy. This can take the form of a political leader or military ruler, or in fiction as a villain or antagonist, or even in our daily lives as, say, the editor of a group blog (I kid, I kid). In any case, dictatorships are interesting to look at and analyze and I'm anxious to see the kinds of creative ways our tubtributors will no doubt spin this theme.
In my current line of work as a social scientist, I often ponder the representativeness of samples. (This is not entirely dissimilar from pondering the fairness of kickball teams, something I often did in my previous line of work as a gym teacher.) Anyway, were I asked whether the Tubtributors constitute a representative sample of the American populus, I would be forced to say no. We overrepresent a lot of demographics. A preponderance of us are hilarious, white alcoholics residing in major metripolitan areas on the east coast. We're overeducated, overprivileged, and overly self-indulgent. And, as a group, we like Ben Folds a whole lot more than does your average group 11 people and a robot.
I really like Ben Folds. When he came to Cornell in '03, it was very important to me that I got good seats, so I tried to camp out for tickets with my friends. (It ended up being too cold to actually camp "out," so we camped "in" - inside a heated ATM booth near the ticket office. But this doesn't render our fanaticism any less hard-core.) Anyway, I'm not the only Folds-loving Tubtrib. Judging by Phylan's phacebook photo, he and KELLYq are total BFFs with Ben. And I would guess that the average number of Folds concerts attended by a Tubtributor is greater than the average number of children birthed into an American family.
Thus, we're celebrating Ben this week. But not in some sort of obnoxious manner that would render our posts inaccessible to the common man. Ben wouldn't like that. Instead, everyone will be titling their post with the title of a song by Ben Folds. Post content need not deal with Ben in the slightest. Post content simply need be related to the title of a song written (or covered) by Ben Folds (and/or Ben Folds Five).
And, for the record, posts titled with disc titles (that are not also song titles) will not receive full credit. Especially if the title in question is "Naked Baby Photos." Wouldn't want to turn this into a smutfest.
Ever wonder why KELLYq is so helpful, Justin is so nerdy, or Lauren is
so chart-loving? Why Caitlar shines with happiness, or why Phylan is a
sadistic voyeur of human misery and shame? Why Emily insists on
reminding us again and again of our ignorance? Why D.C. feels compelled
to study law, why the Mayor finds the detritus of a culture so
fascinating, or why the Obese Omtubsman is so fat? Have you ever
wondered, in a nutshell, why Tori is gay? Well, my guess is that every
single one of our tubtributors owes a certain debt to their families
for making them into the quirky foible-bags that they are today.
This week, we're having a "focus on the family" by theming it up family-style. Strap your family-hat on and prepare to get down and get funny, cause this week is going to be more hilarious than a gay experience with your third cousin at a family reunion (in retrospect).
No big explanation here: I chose this theme because I am vain.
Though my choice of theme requires little elaboration, I do have some administrative blabber to fill this space with. Starting today, we'll be experiencing some minor scheduling changes on the blog. From now on, instead of three posts, Mondays will only have two--the Theme Announcement and Nerdish Leanings. I will be moving to Tuesday afternoons, and on Wednesdays we will have a new Omtubsman joining us and trying to fill his Holy Omniscience's Big, Judge-y Shoes. These changes will be reflected in the graphic in the sidebar by the end of today--or at least sometime before the end of 2007.
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