Tubreaders and tubtributors will have to excuse me if my head is not in the tub, because I've been celebrating your 2007 National League East Champion Philadelphia Phillies!
It's been fourteen long, gut-wrenching years since they last achieved this feat, or even made it to the playoffs at all, so I can think of no more appropriate theme than a celebration of the sweet nectar that made the latter portion of those years all the more bearable. Tell me about your booze, tubtributors.
"Also, Phylan will have a montage of people getting knocked unconscious. If he doesn't, he totally should." - D.C.
I am inclined to agree! So here are the best hits I was able to dig up on YouTube. The first isn't really people getting knocked unconscious in the literal sense, but it's too good not to post, and, well, some of them may have. Below is the Houston Metro trolley facing off against what is apparently a hand-picked set of the worst drivers in the world (alternatively, "Texans").
Continue reading "YouTub: . . . and also a double cheesbur" »
There have been few weeks where typing the theme in YouTube's search bar hasn't rendered something of value to post. Not surprisingly, New Jersey was one such theme, thanks to its all around worthlessness as measured in units of patheticosity per square mile. The next most logical thing to do, I figured, was to search by names of New Jersey cities that I know. The first that came to mind was glorious Trenton, but it produced nothing all that spectacular, and all I took away from that search was that there are actual, real humans that decide to name their son Trenton, and those sons for some reason decide not to shorten it to Trent. Also, there is a high correlation between this name and membership in a fraternity (one of the videos had a description that read "Trenton, you're my bro and I hate to do this to you, but I have to post this:").
The peanut gallery is going to cut me the hell up for this, but a short week and a lot of real-person-stuff to fit into it has killed my ability to make a respectable post for this week's theme (and it's a shame too, because lord knows what the hell else I would've turned up for this one). So I'm going to have to leave you with this completely innocuous and pleasant children's cartoon, from who-the-hell-knows-where:
Continue reading "YouTub: Some Crazy Crap About Angels or Something" »
I've decided, after trying to write this week's post, to order and read this book. You would think looking for a bunch of performance art on YouTube wouldn't be that difficult, but the persistent (and by now cliche) "medium for the amateur" aspect quickly poo-pooed that notion. When I set out looking for performance art, I wasn't looking for people who were attention-starved and untalented enough to post their own videos of their performances, but I got about 12 pages worth. Despite this, there is some good stuff mixed in.
When I was informed via Instant Tubtributor Telepathy what this week's theme was, I knew precisely the video that I would, nay, must post. I've seen it several times, on various "best of" game show compilations that networks like ABC and CBS put in the lineup when they have absolutely no incentive to air new and original programming (the summer). Unlike most of the rest of the clips therein, though, this is genuinely deserving of repeated viewings, because it is, without question, the funniest game show clip I have ever and probably will ever watch. It's taken from a British game show called Catchphrase, which slowly reveals square portions of an animation until the contestant can recite the catchphrase it's trying to convey. The faster they guess, the more they win. This is all the introduction that this clip requires:
Fear is really quite natural and inevitable, when you consider the selection advantage of a healthy "time to get the hell out of here" instinct. Accordingly, some of the scariest things I can possibly conceive of are very real and scattered throughout the natural world. In fact, it's a little disappointing that hundreds of thousands of years of dealing with the most terrifying creatures on the planet has produced a species that cowers at the sight of pale little girls with a lot of hair covering their face jumping out of the television.
With that in mind, I thought I would present, for your revulsion, what I have dubbed "The Scariest Goddamned Things I Have Ever F***ing Seen" (it's a working title).
Note: This is a special Internet Potato edition of E-Bathing. The theme being revisited is "Pets."
Internet potato has been kind to me - not only have I drawn the same day, I've more or less drawn the same topic. eBay isn't all that different from YouTube, except instead of posting their shit all over the place for the possibility of internet fame, eBayers do it for profit, which, frankly, is far more respectable. Still, eBay has more than its share of pathetic offerings, especially when you trawl a particularly creepy and obsessive subset of its contributions - those of the pet lovers.
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