The Bathtub

Nerdish Leanings:

Note: This is a special Internet Potato version of Nerdish Leanings.

Justin Douglas has a special talent for using this space to take whatever theme we're working with and expose its significance to the nerd community.  Because I lack his special insight into the world of computer programming and video game obsession, I'll have to depart slightly from his usual style just a bit, but I promise you: I will be focusing on nerds.

Since Justin missed Game Show week the first time we did it, I decided that would be the ideal theme to revisit here today.  And since Beauty and the Geek is one of my favorite shows on television, I decided that would be a perfectly relevant topic to explore; after all, it's pretty much a game show, and it definitely involves geeks.

After the jump, I take a look at a few famous real-life Beauty-and-Geek pairings--and predict how they might fare in a celebrity version of Beauty and the Geek.

Nerdish Leanings: A Secondhand Story about Alcohol, Which I Have Commandeered and Embellished for Humorous Effect

I used to be a plant manager for a certain unnamed orange juice concern. One day, a humorous story related to alcohol happened to me down at the ol' OJ plant! One of the night watchmen failed to clock out at the end of his shift. Of course, we all assumed that he had been maimed by machinery or drowned in a vat of orange juice. But the reality was even more hilarious than grievous bodily harm!

Nerdish Leanings: Secrets of Making a Hit Game

Hey jerks: Follow my simple rules if you want to become the next Gunpei Yokoi, Hironobu Sakaguchi, or even Shigeru Miyamoto!

Nerdish Leanings: That's not how Turkey Works

As I've mentioned once or twice before, I've played a number of video games over the years. If there is one thing I've learned from them, it is this: Video game designers do not understand anything about snacks. Read on for the three most common and egregious snack time misconceptions in games.

Nerdish Leanings: The Day I Learned to Hate New Jersey

One beautiful summer day a few years ago, I was sitting in my car on I-95 with KELLYq waiting to pay for the privilege of entering Delaware. The birds were singing the praises of the well-maintained roads, lush, sweeping marsh vistas, and favorable corporate tax laws that make Delaware such an appealing little gem. Everything was perfect. I had no reason to believe that anything bad could ever happen to me.

Nerdish Leanings: AAAAAAAAAAAAART

Sure, we've all heard of sculpture, painting, collage, and cake-baking, but what of the unsung forms of art? The enterprising nerds of today have come up with some rather "neat" media in which to work. After the jump, a survey of some of the nerdiest methods of creative expression in the world (not including decopage).

Nerdish Leanings: Weather... In... SPAAAACE!!!

As we all know, in 1969 man landed on the moon. Since this historic event, people have been free to live anywhere in the solar system that tickles their fancy (and for those that don't have a fancy, anywhere that tickles their vagina). But where to live? Well, there's many considerations: the quality of public schools, crime rate, and- most important of all- weather.

Nerdish Leanings: 30 Minutes; CC; Rerun

Due to technical difficulties, Justin Douglas is not available to post today.  However, since game shows are responsible for about 90% of the reruns on television, it seems appropriate for Nerdish Leanings to be running one this week as well.

This episode of Justin's column originally aired on March 19, 2007.

Let's not mince words: Asia is way nerdier than America. You can trust me on this one. I scientifically analyzed it. I know, I know, I know. America isn't a continent. But it might as well be. With its great, swinging phallus and musky odors, America is more continenty than any other country in the world (OK, I guess Australia is technically the continentest country in the world. But Australia is basically America with a funny accent, more dangerous animals, and different varieties of endemic racism, so cram it).

This week, I am going to present to you an item by item comparison that proves without a doubt that Asia is way nerdier than America. This will be accomplished with the patent-pending 3-point Bathtub Cultural-Comparison System... and absolutely no ethnic stereotypes (well, maybe one or two).

Nerdish Leanings: Confronting my Fear of Failure

There's nothing nerdier than being an overachiever. This week, I am going to confront my fear of failure. I'm not going to write a blog post at all, and submit myself to the criticism of the masses (people that read this blog (the other tubtributors)).

Justin Douglas writes "Nerdish Leanings" for The Bathtub on Monday afternoons, generally speaking.  You can e-mail him at j.d.bathtub@gmail.com.

Nerdish Leanings: The Vicious Circle of Video Game Addiction

Part I: Justin establishes a tenuous link between the week's theme and his chosen topic.

Video games tend to set people up into a vicious circle of addiction. The longer you play video games, the better you get at them and the worse you get at everything else in life by comparison. Additionally, the more you play them, the less people will hang out with you, and the more free time you'll have to play games.

Add to this a system where when you finally finish a game on its "normal" difficulty setting, you unlock the "real man" difficulty setting and have no choice but to remain seated, thumbs permanently bent by years of button-jabbing. Throw in some jiggly animated boobs and explosions, and get the poop-sock ready.

They might as well just build a crack-pipe directly into the controller.