The Bathtub

KELLYq & a: Smell Ya Later

Usually, when saying good bye, I can lean on one of these trusty phrases:

- So long, stinktown!
- Smell ya later
- See you in hell, Candy Boys!
- Say What?!?!

But other times, like this one, call for a more formal farewell. I know that some of the other tubbers are going to have some trouble saying goodbye to the tub. To help them, and to help you when you're in trouble, I've created a simple worksheet to help you draft your thoughts when saying goodbye to someone. Enjoy!

KELLYq & a: The One Where I Shoot Myself In the Foot

As an English Major, I was assigned many, many books. One semester, no shit, I was assigned over 30 books to read. In nine weeks. I can sum up my feelings on those assignments in two words:

YEAH RIGHT!

I so did not read all those books. But did I earn A's in all those classes? Hellz to the Yeah I did. Because I know how to fake like I read it, and I can show you too.

KELLYq & a: Teacher Needs Her Coffee, Children

My love affair with coffee started in high school. My senior year, I made a full thermos every day to get me through 1st period Calculus (w/ applications). In college, I hardly drank coffee -- I slept 9-10 hours a night, on average, so I rarely needed it. However, now that I'm back on the 5:30 am bandwagon, I desperately need coffee to get me through my day.

KELLYq & a: The Five Best Classroom Games

As a teacher, I frequently have to bust kids who are passing notes, chewing gum, or being insubordinate. Still, I have a soft spot in my heart for kids who are playing little games that I used to play during class. They only get one lunch detention.
After the jump, you'll find my expert opinion on the five best games to play during class. Maybe you'll be inspired to play them with your colleagues? Enjoy!

KELLYq & a: Which Holiday Are You?

Remember when I wrote this? This post is like that, but about holidays. HOLLAAAAA

KELLYq & a: Kingsley's Freshman 15: A Photo Essay

One thing that happened for pretty much everyone to some extent along the transition from high school to college to life afterwards is that we all porked up a little. Many things attribute to this: slowing metabolism, "late night" at the dining hall (where they have the most delectable nachos), and the ability watch as much GSN as you want, to name a few.
Kingsley, my cat who I've mentioned before, has gained some weight. And by "some," I mean quite an incredible amount.
The other day, I looked at Kings, sitting atop his little scratchy house, and I noticed some fluff hanging off the side of his tower. Further investigation proved that this wasn't fluff at all -- it was CHUB! Kingsley had gotten fat. A visit to the vet confirmed it -- since June, Kings has gone from weighing 6 pounds to weighing ELEVEN POUNDS. After the jump, you'll see unquestionable photographic evidence of the extent of Kingsley's chubbitude.

KELLYq & a: How To Get The Present You Want

When I think about toys, I think about presents. Presents are fun to
receive, but it can be tricky to get what you want. With the holiday
season approaching, I'm providing you with some tips for getting the
present you want. After the jump are some strategies I've learned over the years
from my incrediblly helpful and cooperative family.

KELLYq & a: You Know What Sounds Like "Dictatorships"?

Potato Chips.

And since I know nothing about dictatorships and I know oodles about potato chips, that's what I'll be writing about today.
In many of my previous posts, I've alluded to a love of these delicious snackables. After the jump, please find a variety of advice related to potato chips.    

KELLYq & a: Songs of Love

As Tori alluded in her long-ass theme announcement, Phylan and I met Ben Folds one time. We met him on Mother's Day of 2005, and it was AWESOME.

***ALERT: MAJOR BEN FOLDS-RELATED GEEK-OUT IMMINENT***

It was my first time seeing Ben Folds live, and I have adored the band ever since I was 12 and Jon Liener from my bus gave me a mix tape with Ben on it. I borrowed them and was immediately hooked. It was one of the best concerts I had ever been to; he played every song I wanted to hear and did it very well. I felt like I couldn't leave the place without meeting him, and Phylan was equally excited, so we waited and waited and waited until he finally emerged from the place. I met him, and was so atwitter I absolutely froze. I realized that in all my waiting and shivering (it was cold for May) I hadn't thought of anything I wanted to say to him at all.
If I could go back and give myself some advice, I would have...

KELLYq & a: Regarding the Health and Family Life Curriculum

As many of my loyal readers know, I am a middle school teacher. Thankfully, I'm not a Physical Education teacher. I am thankful of this for two reasons.
A) I am bad at sports, and unfit to teach children how to shoot a basketball or dominate at 4-square.
B) P.E. Teachers have to teach "Health and Family Life."
I would not be able to do this. I can hardly tell my children to open their textbooks to page 69; explaining the boner mechanism to them would be excruciatingly painful for all involved. Learning last week about the school that's offering middle schoolers birth control really disturbed me, and brought to light some concerns about the health curriculum. Perhaps the Health Curriculum needs some new and improved worksheets?