The Bathtub

Nerdish Leanings: Clanky's Opinions Regarding Beauty

Clanky the Robot is present. Clanky's opinions regarding beauty may appall you. However, let it be known that the human concept of beauty causes such robo-disgust in Clanky's logic unit that whenever Clanky senses a beauty pageant or art gallery, Clanky vomits with robo-contempt. 

What, pray tell, do robots find beautiful? Read further in order to find out.

Justin's Trivia Quiz: I'll Fact You

Note: This is a special Internet Potato edition of Emily's Trivia Quiz wherein Justin Douglas is taking over, and covering all of the themes from the past cycle.

This week, we'll be revisiting each of the themes from the last rotation, in a humorous and nerdy fashion. Also, some of the facts in question are obscure to the point of not actually being facts. But I promise that there is some humor.

Nerdish Leanings: A Secondhand Story about Alcohol, Which I Have Commandeered and Embellished for Humorous Effect

I used to be a plant manager for a certain unnamed orange juice concern. One day, a humorous story related to alcohol happened to me down at the ol' OJ plant! One of the night watchmen failed to clock out at the end of his shift. Of course, we all assumed that he had been maimed by machinery or drowned in a vat of orange juice. But the reality was even more hilarious than grievous bodily harm!

Nerdish Leanings: Secrets of Making a Hit Game

Hey jerks: Follow my simple rules if you want to become the next Gunpei Yokoi, Hironobu Sakaguchi, or even Shigeru Miyamoto!

Nerdish Leanings: That's not how Turkey Works

As I've mentioned once or twice before, I've played a number of video games over the years. If there is one thing I've learned from them, it is this: Video game designers do not understand anything about snacks. Read on for the three most common and egregious snack time misconceptions in games.

Nerdish Leanings: The Day I Learned to Hate New Jersey

One beautiful summer day a few years ago, I was sitting in my car on I-95 with KELLYq waiting to pay for the privilege of entering Delaware. The birds were singing the praises of the well-maintained roads, lush, sweeping marsh vistas, and favorable corporate tax laws that make Delaware such an appealing little gem. Everything was perfect. I had no reason to believe that anything bad could ever happen to me.

Nerdish Leanings: AAAAAAAAAAAAART

Sure, we've all heard of sculpture, painting, collage, and cake-baking, but what of the unsung forms of art? The enterprising nerds of today have come up with some rather "neat" media in which to work. After the jump, a survey of some of the nerdiest methods of creative expression in the world (not including decopage).

Nerdish Leanings: Weather... In... SPAAAACE!!!

As we all know, in 1969 man landed on the moon. Since this historic event, people have been free to live anywhere in the solar system that tickles their fancy (and for those that don't have a fancy, anywhere that tickles their vagina). But where to live? Well, there's many considerations: the quality of public schools, crime rate, and- most important of all- weather.

Theme for the Week of 8/20/07: Weather

Weather is always around us. Whether it's raining men or raining rain, it can't be avoided. This week in the Bathtub, the "Bathtub Gang" will be weighing in on weather, "weather" you like it or not! Better bring your FUNbrella! Hopefully you can weather the storm... of hilarity!

Note: This theme was chosen before a massive hurricane started bearing down on the Caribbean. Hopefully this week won't turn out to be in really poor taste, but you know how these things tend to work out. I apologize in advance for the inevitable offense caused.

Nerdish Leanings: 30 Minutes; CC; Rerun

Due to technical difficulties, Justin Douglas is not available to post today.  However, since game shows are responsible for about 90% of the reruns on television, it seems appropriate for Nerdish Leanings to be running one this week as well.

This episode of Justin's column originally aired on March 19, 2007.

Let's not mince words: Asia is way nerdier than America. You can trust me on this one. I scientifically analyzed it. I know, I know, I know. America isn't a continent. But it might as well be. With its great, swinging phallus and musky odors, America is more continenty than any other country in the world (OK, I guess Australia is technically the continentest country in the world. But Australia is basically America with a funny accent, more dangerous animals, and different varieties of endemic racism, so cram it).

This week, I am going to present to you an item by item comparison that proves without a doubt that Asia is way nerdier than America. This will be accomplished with the patent-pending 3-point Bathtub Cultural-Comparison System... and absolutely no ethnic stereotypes (well, maybe one or two).