The Bathtub

Reasonable Doubt: 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One

Hit me.

So, everyone expects me to write about baseball.  Fine.  I wrote this on Sunday after the last Nationals game at RFK.  Not having a place to post it, Andrea helped out with space. 

"Nationals Bid Optimistic Farewell to RFK"

Seeing as I already wrote that, and I did choose the weekly theme, today you guys get a extra special D.C. double post day!  Rejoice and be glad!

Theme For the Week of 9/24: Hits

Dictionary.com offers 41 distinct definitions of the word "hit."

I'm going on the record now and saying that Emily will choose Pat Benatar lyrics over Britney Spears for her post title.  Also, Phylan will have a montage of people getting knocked unconscious.  If he doesn't, he totally should.

Ok, enough suggestions from the theme decider.  As Benatar said: fire away!

Reasonable Doubt: Do not Feed the Law Students

Students eat weird things.  We like to think that our lives are too crazy to eat anything other than what we can find in front of us, but I don't think that's necessarily true.

I'm just too lazy to eat right.

Time for more artistic masterpieces, brought to you by MS paint.

Reasonable Doubt: Call me an Optimist

A couple weeks ago I suffered through on campus interviews.  The school brings in a bunch of law firms to school, and a bunch of overdressed (and sweaty!) law students pretend to be candidates qualified to earn a ridiculous summer salary.  The whole thing reeks of bullshit.  By the end of the week, I had given out 30 something resumes, and sat for about 20 interviews. 

The only thing that has come into fruition so far?  I have a callback from a firm in New Jersey.

Reasonable Doubt: Won't Somebody Please Think of the Children?

As scary as this may be, I've had numerous jobs posturing as an authority figure for children.  I was a juvenile probation officer while attending Big Midwestern University (Go Team!).  The summer after that, I was a camp counselor for elementary school kids (and Lauren was my boss).  In two weeks I start a clinic where I teach law in public high school.  Also, there was a cameo on a Dateline NBC special involving children, but I'm not at liberty to talk about that because of pending charges.  The less said about that, the better.

Reasonable Doubt: Paint Does Not Always Mean Art.

I present to you the best I could come up with in computer art and text manipulation.  For free. 

MS Paint, you are a cruel and ugly bitch.  But you're always there for me. 

Reasonable Doubt: Today's Post Has Been Canceled Due to Inclimate Weather

It rained last night.  It's still raining now.  The field is too wet to play on.  We'll have to reschedule.

E-bathing: All of this Can Be Yours, if the Price Is Right... and You Get Your Bid in Before 11:59 CST

D.C. here.  Mayor called in a favor from when we switched last week, so this week you're e-bathing with me.  Sexy, kinda.  Don't drop the soap.

There is a surprising dearth of game show memorabilia on eBay. You'd think that every sucker that made it on Deal or No Deal would try to grab one of those expensive looking briefcases and sprint out of the studio, but alas, security must be pretty tight around there. Therefore, this is going to be a quick and dirty hit of the interesting* things I could find (that rules out home versions, video game versions, and t-shirts, with are 99% of the game show crap out there).

* = actual level of interest may vary.

Reasonable Doubt: Next Trip Down Memory Lane, I'm Bringing a Rape Whistle

Nostalgia is a powerful thing.  People love to be reminded of what they once loved.  Entire television series (I love the '80s) and entire television networks (Nickelodeon GaS) were born because of people's longing for the past.

There were many absolutely classic Nickelodeon shows.  Doug, Clarissa, Hey Dude, Double Dare, Salute Your Shorts, G.U.T.S., Nick Arcade, Are You Afraid of the Dark, All That, Roundhouse... I could go on and on.  However, there is one that rules them all.  One show who's production values and sheer excitement could not be topped by anything else on television, ever.  That show is...

Reasonable Doubt: The Two Worst Words a Metro Rider Can Hear

Care to guess?  Anyone?

Not "doors closing."  They are not "crying baby" or "clueless tourists," although after this summer, I'm absolutely convinced D.C. (the District, not me) needs to institute a strong policy that bans people under the age of 10 from entering its borders.  If you grew up here, fine, but if you're even just down from Maryland, no dice, because I'm going to want to kill you.

No, the two worst words are: