Hi Tubbies. Miss me? I know you did. I haven't been around much the last two weeks. I had some life stuff going on, you know, that quarter-life-kinda-faux-crisis and then that holiday we call Thanksgiving. But now I'm back, for the last few weeks of the tub. And something I've been doing a lot of recently is making lists. I love them. You see, I am someone with a very active and spastic brain, so I think of lots of cool stuff and then forget them quickly, so lists help me to remember things I want/need to remember. Secondly, I love the satisfaction of checking stuff off. Like, BAM! I got that done! I am awesome! In fact, I recently started a Life List, on which I've come up with all sorts of things I want to do in my life, like go to the opera or take a hip hop dance class. The going is a little slower than I thought, but hey, it's a start.
Although earlier in the week, Lauren commented how she was surprised that I, she who is all that is happy, chose such a depressing theme as Dictorships for my theme this week. All I can say is, I dunno people, it's the first thing that came to my head. I suppose I've been reading/watching a lot about Pakistan this week.
In any case, I will do my best in the following post to show you that behind (or rather, in front of) the crazy and egotistical tyranny of some of one of the world's meanest dictators is propaganda that makes him seem anything but (I do suppose that is the point of it in the first place).
I, too, am a huge Ben Folds nerd. And I was trying to think of a way to not write about Ben Folds, but rather something interestingly tangential. But I can't do it, because every time I sat down to think about this post, all I could think about were all of the memories I have in which Ben Folds is somehow involved.
So bear with me because this could get a little sappy.
I like celebrities. I like watching them on TV, I like going to see their movies, I like reading about their random exploits on sites like perezhilton.com. And I love love love watching red carpet events and seeing what everyone is wearing. This is because celebrities, for the most part, are so pretty and pretty things are, by definition, nice to look at.
But if you search the internet not all that hard, you soon discover that the only reason why celebrities exude beauty the way they do is not because they were born with it, but because it's definitely Maybelliene. They have good people---make up artists, hair stylists, plastic surgeons, fashion stylists---whose only job it is to make sure these people stay beautiful.
Note: This is a special Internet Potato
version of YouTub wherein Caitlar revisits the theme "Fear."
Phylan is much wittier than I and has less tolerance for stupid people and their dumb, self-absorbed antics that they post daily for the world on that special site we call YouTube. But when we were at home the other day, watching YouTube videos, I briefly felt the stinging disdain that he feels for humanity after watching video after video of just plain, stupid, pointless stuff (for inability to use the real word I would like to say). This video, as you will see, sums up just some of the silly things that not only make it on to YouTube, but also on to our daily local news.
Um yeeaaah. This week's theme is alcohol. If you have been a loyal reader of the tub, then you know that I am no stranger to the drink. I've not posted before because I was drunk and/or hungover. I'm posted while drunk. I've also covered the topic of good drinks just 2 weeks ago.
Now, I don't want to beat a dead horse. But I do want to drive the point home, along with a whole slew of other common cliches...
I was intrigued
recently by one of my favorite sporting events. No, twas not the Phillies,
although I am intrigued by my ability to still have hope that we will indeed
make the playoffs. It was the World Series of Pop Culture that stunned me a few
weeks ago, as two contestants tied one round by getting no questions right. The
score was 0-0 the whole time. The category for this round did not seem like a
doozy at first, but as the questions scrolled across the screen not even I could
answer them. The category was "Lyrics to Current Pop Songs." The contestants had
to identify the title and artist of the hit song whose lyrics the host read
aloud. And it was really hard!
I came to a stunning realization today: snack time is to children as happy hour is to grown-ups.
Except that happy hour happens at the end of the day instead of in the middle, although I guess you could argue that it's like an after school snack. That is liquid in form. And makes you sleepy/happy/silly/angry/whatever.
Actually, knowing that happy hour is a much cooler version of snack time makes me less sad about growing up. Because I love happy hour. In fact, I love all sorts of drinks. So in order to help all you adults out there enjoy your snack time this weekend, here are some of my favorite snack recipes.
I'm not from New Jersey. I don't have some self-deprecating humorous look-at-me-so-what-if-I'm-from-New-Jersey complex like all those people in college who were from New Jersey did. I don't like to focus on making fun of a state that's pretty much only famous for being made fun of. Because you know what? New Jersey is pretty much just like every other dumb state in the Union (excluding Pennsylvania and Virginia, of course, because I live in those states and they are commonwealths anyway). And because I like to focus on the positives, I'm going to talk about some of the best things from and about New Jersey.
So I like kids. I like kids a lot (most of the time). My favorite age is from about 1 to 5. After that they get a little bratty, which peaks at about 13, and then they get angsty. And then they go to college and mature a bit and become cool again.
I like little kids because they are miniature people in the making and they learn and grow and adapt right before your eyes. And they say a lot of funny stuff. My little sister, for instance, is nearly 18 and hasn't yet grown out of her kids-say-the-darndest-things phase. She's always mistakenly mixed up words and phrases. All you can really do is look at her and say "Aw, you're pretty." Some of my favorite sisterisms include the following classics:
Hi Tubbies. Miss me? I know you did. I haven't been around much the last two weeks. I had some life stuff going on, you know, that quarter-life-kinda-faux-crisis and then that holiday we call Thanksgiving. But now I'm back, for the last few weeks of the tub. And something I've been doing a lot of recently is making lists. I love them. You see, I am someone with a very active and spastic brain, so I think of lots of cool stuff and then forget them quickly, so lists help me to remember things I want/need to remember. Secondly, I love the satisfaction of checking stuff off. Like, BAM! I got that done! I am awesome! In fact, I recently started a Life List, on which I've come up with all sorts of things I want to do in my life, like go to the opera or take a hip hop dance class. The going is a little slower than I thought, but hey, it's a start.
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