Nerdish Leanings: Getting Stimulated Just Thinking About It

Every subculture has its stimulant of choice. The rich enjoy cappuccinos. The poor enjoy methamphetamines. The British enjoy tea. Nerds, however, are a little more complicated. For us, stimulants aren't just things that you smoke or drink or inject directly into your penis. They're more complicated than that. Read on for a list of things that really get my motor running.

1. The Introduction Sequence to Contra III: The Alien Wars

When I watch this, all I can think about is how much I hate aliens. My blood starts boiling and I can hardly watch the entire minute, I just want to kill aliens so bad.

I imagine it's kind of similar to the way that anti-axis propaganda worked in World War II, and the inevitable anti-everybody-that's-not-american-and-anti-some-americans-(you-know-who-you-are) propaganda will work in World War III.

2. Watching Source Code Compile with a pair of Quad-Core Intel Xeon Processors and 8 Gigabytes of RAM
Waiting for code to compile on my laptop is a mind-fogging, unenjoyable experience. I sit there, patiently watching messages scroll across the terminal once every minute or so while my hard drive spins frantically. It takes a long time and it makes it hard to look at pictures of cute animals and people falling down, which is my reason to be at work in the first place.

But man. Run that on a fatty Linux workstation and MAN. I've been known to audibly remark "FUCK YEAH" in the situation, much to the chagrin of everybody in earshot. It's like being on one of those rollercoasters that shoots you out of a tube at the start. The main difference, of course, is that the rollercoaster will remain fun for at least another minute and might leave you with a pleasant memory.

3. Nerds™ Candy
They're sugary, and they say "Nerds" right there on the package! My preferred method of consumption? Direct penile injection, clearly.

Justin Douglas writes "Nerdish Leanings" for The Bathtub on Monday afternoons.  You can e-mail him at j.d.bathtub@gmail.com.

Comments

[KELLYq]

PENILE INJECTION HOLLLLLLLA