The Bathtub: Too Much Information: Are You Concerted?

Just like Hallmark commercials and sample sales, ADD is something that women experience differently than men do. Women are less likely to be hyperactive, and their symptoms are more often mistaken for depression or just plain ditzyness. I myself was not diagnosed with ADD until I was midway through college, but boy, was it a big "A-ha!" moment for my family. ADD explains many things--the disorganization; the messiness; the not having a sense of direction; the fact that even though I was a total dork who loved school, I never studied . . . all textbook manifestations of ADD in females.

However varied the symptoms may be in boys and girls, though, the treatment for ADD is the same: stimulants!

I was unmedicated for the first 20 years of my life, but bow I take Concerta almost every day. The changes in my behavior are pretty subtle for the most part. There are, however, some dead giveaways, and there is one person who can always spot them: KELLYq. Whenever she spots me doing certain things, she will turn to me and ask (in the voice I'm guessing she uses on her most trying students), "Lauren, are you Concerted today?" The answer is usually no if . . .

. . . I can't stop snapping and clapping.
When I am off my medication, I have a rather unfortunate habit of snapping and clapping as I walk. I usually am not even conscious of the fact I am doing it.

. . . I'm being a bitch.
Unmedicated Lauren can be pretty mean. This is because of the whole impulsivity/poor judgment thing associated with ADD; when I'm on medication, I'm more likely to take a second and evaluate whatever caustic comment I'm about to make, and then dismiss it if it is too offensive. So I guess Medicated Lauren is mean too--she just keeps it inside.

. . . Napkins are shredded, beer bottles are de-labeled, etc.
Must . . . use . . . fingers . . .

. . . I'm talking really fast.
Sometimes accompanied by "not making any sense" and "sort of crazy in the eyes."

Most of the struggle with ADD is internal--I have the exact same look on my face when I'm paying attention at a meeting as when I'm thinking about squirrels! and lunch! and what if I age poorly? and when will personal hovercrafts be widely available? and what was my third-grade teacher named?--and the medication does a lot more than just make me stop snapping and calling people cattle-whores. I could go into that, but my attention has already shifted to other priorities. And I even took my Concerta today!

Lauren McMahon (e-mail, website) writes "Too Much Information" on Tuesdays at--oh, look! A butterfly!