My sophomore year of college, I was taking a current events quiz in
Journalism. This particular teacher was fond of "picture questions,"
and so this quiz showed four grainy, black and white headshots and
asked us to circle the Secretary of Something Fairly Common But I
Forget Exactly What. I had no idea, so I just chose the smiling man
with the jaunty hat. He looked nice enough.
Well, turns out the nice man I circled was none other than Saddam
Hussein. They probably should not have let me stay in Journalism
school after that.
That was bad, but in perusing a magazine article about the worst
dictators recently, I was struck by how many of them looked like they
could have been a friendly uncle or 12th-grade history teacher. Some
of them, like Bashar Al-Assad (right), even look kind of like Steve
Carrell. So before you judge me, I challenge you to take the following
quiz, "Dictator or Regular Guy," and see how you do.
1. Dictator, or regular guy?
Answer
Dictator. This is Islam Karimov, who has been in power in
Uzbekistan since 1988 using "old-fashioned Soviet tactics of torture,
media censorship and fake elections."
2. Dictator, or regular guy?
Answer
Dictator. Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo has been the President of Equatorial Guinea since he assumed the office in 1979.
3. Dictator, or regular guy?
Answer
Regular guy at a wedding. This is someone's uncle.
4. Dictator, or regular guy?
Answer
Dictator. His name is Paul Biya and his hobby is staging fake elections in Cameroon.
5. Dictator, or regular guy?
Answer
Regular guy. This man is a dentist in Connecticut.
6. Dictator, or regular guy?
Answer
Dictator. Before he died last year, Saparmurat Niyazov was a frequent mention on lists of the world's worst dictators, like this one, which described him as having a bit of The Crazy: "Among the most bizarre recent examples of his government by whim are
his banning of car radios, lip-synching, and the playing of recorded
music on TV and at weddings. In 2005, Niyazov also closed all national
parks and shut down rural libraries. He has also renamed the month of
January after himself and April after his mother."
7. Dictator, or regular guy?
Answer
Regular guy. A professor, actually.
So, to summarize what we've learned today:
- Dictators--they're just like us!
- Sometimes dictators smile. Sometimes non-dictators don't.
- Caitlar is crazy. Seriously--dictators as a theme? That is as un-shiny, un-happy as it gets!
Lauren McMahon (e-mail, website) writes "Too Much Information" on Tuesdays at 2:00. Find out more here.




yay that was fun! now i really have no idea what i am going to write about...haha
also since when do you write at 2 on tuesdays? did i miss an email chain?
Posted by: EmGusk | November 06, 2007 at 03:11 PM
I didn't learn that sometimes non-dictators smile because all the pictures you put up of non-dictators featured smiling people.
Posted by: Former O.O. | November 06, 2007 at 03:48 PM
right- it's the whole 'banality of evil' thing that all the kids are talking about.
Posted by: sally jesse | November 06, 2007 at 05:22 PM
"Regular guy. This man is a dentist in Connecticut" made me laugh inordinately hard.
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Posted by: Rata_chen | May 18, 2011 at 11:08 PM