Too Much Information: Happy ChrismaHannaKwanzaaBathtubPartyDeadWhaleRedAppleDay

In March of 2006 I created a blog project for myself wherein I tried to observe all of the bizarre minor holidays I could find that month, like National Frozen Food Day, National Pet Sitter's Month, and National Waffle Day.  For today's post, I decided to highlight some of the lesser-known December holidays in advance; this way, when someone wishes you "Happy Holidays" next month, you can know that it includes, among other things, National Bicarbonate of Soda Day.

I will start off with what is clearly the most exciting holiday I found, one that the members of this blog will be very excited to hear about . . .

12/5: Bathtub Party Day!
Imagine my delight when I discovered that December 5 is Bathtub Party Day.  Googling "Bathtub Party Day" yields over 1,000 results, most of them encouraging people to take a long, leisurely bath on December 5 and even invite friends over to celebrate.  To think I thought we tubbers were original when we took this picture:

Anyway, Bathtub Party Day is next Wednesday--how are we going to celebrate?  At the very least I will have to send out a few e-cards from here.

Interestingly enough, December 5 is also "Repeal Day," celebrating the anniversary of the end of Prohibition.  I can think of no better indicator that Bathtub Party Day should be spent drinking.

12/1: Eat a Red Apple Day
As the name indicates, this holiday is celebrated by buying a new pair of bowling shoes.

JK, eat an apple.

12/4: Wear Brown Shoes Day
OK, thank GOD this does not coincide with "Wear a Black Outfit Day," or we would all be screwed.  (Except Tori, who would happily celebrate both, I'm sure.)

12/10: Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales
More than one calendar I looked at claimed this holiday was an Alaskan/Inuit observation, but National Geographic seems to think its origins are dubious.  Although I would ordinarily trust them over the random people who put bizarre holiday calendars on the Internet, Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales is too good to let go of.  I think I will honor the soul of the whale who played Free Willy.  (Yes, that link goes to a story about his death.)

12/18: National Roast Suckling Pig Day
All you suckling pigs out there might want to hurry up and wean yourselves before the 18th, because this holiday is not about honoring you--it's about eating you.

12/21: National Flashlight Day
This has got to be one of the least remarkable festivals in the world, but I suppose that in itself makes it worth celebrating.

12/30: National Bicarbonate of Soda Day
Yes, this is the day when we all honor baking soda.  I recommend having a huge party and hiring a male stripper that looks like the Arm & Hammer guy.

Well, it looks like my calendar for December just got a little busier, because aside from celebrating all of these holidays, I think I will also be contacting my local government officials and insisting that they add bathtub and flashlight and suckling pig decorations to their severely limited Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa displays.  This is 2007, after all.  We need to be a little more open-minded.

Lauren McMahon (e-mail, website) writes "Too Much Information" on Tuesdays at 2:00.  Find out more here.

Comments

[Tori]

Lauren, for the record, ever since you gave me that talking-to about the evils of pairing brown and black, I have been EXTREMELY careful about my wardrobe choices. Right now, I am wearing black shoes, black socks, slate grey pants, and a black top - NO brown - and it's all thanks to you! You should be very proud.

Speaking of my fashion choices . . . how come no one ever told me how disgusting that dirty hat was?

[justin]

in my household, suckling pig day only comes around once a year, but every day is pig-suckling day. you know what i'm talking about.

[Zany Holidays Blogger]

I love how National Geographic actually went out to investigate the festival of the souls of dead whales...that has to have been a fun assignment. "Excuse me sir, what do you know about...dead whales?"