Let's face facts: holidays are pretty ridiculous. They're ridiculously good in that they get us a day off from work. They're ridiculously fattening in that they involve substantial feasting. And they're ridiculously ridiculous in that our reasons for celebrating them are completely absurd.
All major Christian holidays are based on a series of highly questionable premises. And I'm not talking about just one or two weird premises either. By my count, there are seven ridiculous premises one must accept in order to justify the celebration of Christmas and Easter.
I love obscure holidays just as much as the next girl. In fact, when I was a counselor at camp we had a "Holiday Parade" (each cabin had to dress up like a holiday), I told my cabin they could choose between either Arbor Day or Groundhog Day. This resulted in eight 15-year-old-girls dressed up as trees. Still, it was a hit because we made a sign that said "Have You Hugged a Tree Today?" and my girls got hugs from alllll the hott boyz. Still, my favorite holiday is not so obscure: Independence Day. At camp every year I let my girls decorate my car with paint and streamers and they'd sit in the trunk and out the windows and it was always fun (mostly because it was the only chance we had to feel air conditioning). Then we would sit in the soccer field and watch beautiful fireworks. I love fireworks and America (and camp) so this week's quiz will be on fireworks. And America. And camp too.
Hi Tubbies. Miss me? I know you did. I haven't been around much the last two weeks. I had some life stuff going on, you know, that quarter-life-kinda-faux-crisis and then that holiday we call Thanksgiving. But now I'm back, for the last few weeks of the tub. And something I've been doing a lot of recently is making lists. I love them. You see, I am someone with a very active and spastic brain, so I think of lots of cool stuff and then forget them quickly, so lists help me to remember things I want/need to remember. Secondly, I love the satisfaction of checking stuff off. Like, BAM! I got that done! I am awesome! In fact, I recently started a Life List, on which I've come up with all sorts of things I want to do in my life, like go to the opera or take a hip hop dance class. The going is a little slower than I thought, but hey, it's a start.
This was a difficult theme because there are too many bands with songs containing the word "holiday," and I'm not some damned jukebox. I did, however, find the work of genius below. I don't know what the hell it is but I've always said that if there is anything that could make Jewish holiday rituals more accessible to the mainstream, it's amateur hip hop. Also, sexy anthropomorphic apple slices.
By now, some of you might have realized that I took Thanksgiving day off. That has nothing to do with how much time I had to blog in the hours leading up to last Thursday, but I just wondered how many of you would have schlepped over here to read it. That said, I love this theme because it gives me a chance to tell you exactly what I did on Thanksgiving that I thought was more worthwhile than posting.
This past week, the Tub took a trip down memory lane to their high school days, except on Thursday, when it gorged itself for Thanksgiving and didn't post at all--which as a gorger myself, I approve of 110%. This got me thinking about my own high school days--I'm sad to report that this was not a happy time for the Obese Omtubsman. The teasing, the laughing, and the frequent prodding with sticks . . . actually, that was all pretty good. I enjoyed the attention. I just hated band. Stupid arpeggios.
In March of 2006 I created a blog project for myself wherein I tried to observe all of the bizarre minor holidays I could find that month, like National Frozen Food Day, National Pet Sitter's Month, and National Waffle Day. For today's post, I decided to highlight some of the lesser-known December holidays in advance; this way, when someone wishes you "Happy Holidays" next month, you can know that it includes, among other things, National Bicarbonate of Soda Day.
I will start off with what is clearly the most exciting holiday I found, one that the members of this blog will be very excited to hear about . . .
Many people decide to decorate the exteriors and interiors of their homes at this time of year, and some people go a little overboard with their Christmas cheer. Christmas light insanity aside, there is another craze that the holiday season inspires: holiday sweaters. There are individuals among us who take their decorating beyond the tree and actually festoon themselves in sparkly red and green raiment. (A lot of these people are moms). After the jump, a variety of holiday sweaters that will make the season bright.
If there's one thing that nerds love doing on the internet, it's spoiling the happy surprises of others. This week, I'll be systematically sucking the fun out of all of your favorite holidays.
Let's face facts: holidays are pretty ridiculous. They're ridiculously good in that they get us a day off from work. They're ridiculously fattening in that they involve substantial feasting. And they're ridiculously ridiculous in that our reasons for celebrating them are completely absurd.
This past week, the Tub took a trip down memory lane to their high school days, except on Thursday, when it gorged itself for Thanksgiving and didn't post at all--which as a gorger myself, I approve of 110%. This got me thinking about my own high school days--I'm sad to report that this was not a happy time for the Obese Omtubsman. The teasing, the laughing, and the frequent prodding with sticks . . . actually, that was all pretty good. I enjoyed the attention. I just hated band. Stupid arpeggios. 
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