One Nation Under Jerome: The Expert Speaks, For Some Reason

  Jerome couldn't be here today so I am guest-posting for him on a topic that I know well:  Alcohol.  Why do I know it well?  Because I recently took up a job in the Minnesota Department of Public Safety's Alcohol and Gambling Enforcement Division.  Did you know that in Minnesota, a Farm Winery License will cost you only $50, but a Distilled Spirits Wholesaler or Manufacturer License will cost you $30,000?  (Or as we say in Minnesota "30 Lake.")  You did?  Oh.  Well, anyway it's true--this is because Minnesota's state hobby is Collecting Bureacratic Fees.

We also, according to our website, have an Under Age Drinking Grant Program.  If you are anything like Jerome, you are probably at this very moment, saying something to the effect of, "say wHAT!??"  Well, in Minnesota we don't take kindly to that kind of talk, but I will expalin.

I can say definitively that it is true--Minnesota is the one state that gives out grants to encourage under age drinking.  At least so I assume, until they put a hard link to the grant program on the website.  We figure the more alcohol our youth consumes, the less alcohol our Manitobian neighbors to the north get to consume.  Which is why Minnesota's official state quote is, "Minnesota:  Suck It, Manitoba."

Also, here is a chart that I guess I made about Minnesota and alcohol.

   

So, there you go. 

I promise Jerome will be back next week--I have failed miserably as a guest author.  Please do not blame Jerome for this, his only mistake was trusting me, and I let him down. 

I guess I just have nothing to say about Minnesota and alcohol--other than it is our Official State Thing-That-Can-Freeze, narrowly edging out "Bugs."

"One Nation Under Jerome" appears every Tuesday, but frankly has been losing steam lately.  Fortunately, Minnesota Expert has been cancelled until further notice. 

Comments

[Gorg-O]

Please don't cancel Minnesota Expert! He is my favorite occasional contributor (except for myself)!

[Gulliver P. Thistlewhistle]

Ten Lake says Minnesota Expert can drink Raif under the table, dontcha know.