KELLYq & a: Regarding the Health and Family Life Curriculum

As many of my loyal readers know, I am a middle school teacher. Thankfully, I'm not a Physical Education teacher. I am thankful of this for two reasons.
A) I am bad at sports, and unfit to teach children how to shoot a basketball or dominate at 4-square.
B) P.E. Teachers have to teach "Health and Family Life."
I would not be able to do this. I can hardly tell my children to open their textbooks to page 69; explaining the boner mechanism to them would be excruciatingly painful for all involved. Learning last week about the school that's offering middle schoolers birth control really disturbed me, and brought to light some concerns about the health curriculum. Perhaps the Health Curriculum needs some new and improved worksheets?

Hm. Well, that wasn't as detailed or funny as I'd intended it to be. Perhaps I should leave the health worksheets to the good folks at Houghton Mifflin and Glencoe. I'll leave you with perhaps my favorite health video from Middle School, "Am I Normal?" It worked for me! (The best part is at 14:30.)

Seriously? Asking a zookeeper? WT heck is this supposed to teach children? How to get lured into the back of a van?

"KELLYq & a" runs on Wednesday mornings. For more information, click here. 

Comments

[Tori]

So, I was, of course, a physical education teacher. However, Anonymous Elementary School for Jews deemed me a non-ideal sex ed. instructor. (This was sort of funny because, though I am in no way qualified to teach physical education, I do have a degree in sex.)

But anyway, the science teacher taught the kids about boners and stuff and I just gave everyone a lecture on "healthy lifestyles" (i.e., exercise and don't eat too many Ho-Hos). My lecture was fairly ridiculous because I feel strongly that kids should eat lots of Ho-Hos. I mean, they're kids. They're always running around and climbing trees. They're not gonna get fat. They should eat Ho-Hos until they hit puberty. Then they should stop immediately.

[sally jesse]

so those guys go to zoo to look at animal dongs? the subplot of his oddly older friend being illiterate was pretty awesome. "let's face it, in this job I've seen a lot of penises," is one of the best lines ever- also the kid keeps saying "the male penis". Tori- where have you been? American kids are totally fat today (partially because they don't climb enough trees and whatnot).

[sally jesse]

FYI- I've locked my ward, Gulliver P. Thistlewhistle, in the prayer closet for touching his no-nos.

[Tori]

In my experience, most kids don't start getting fat until middle school. There are always a couple fat kids in every elementary school, but that's often the result of genetic predisposition. I mean, maybe if I'd taught in the south, I'd feel differently, but seriously, there were all of four or five fat kids at Anonymous Elementary School for Jews. I told the kids that they shouldn't feel bad about having a candy bar; they should just make sure they supplemented it with fruit and stuff.

[Tori]

Ah . . . the magic of private school education. You can tell the little boogers ANYTHING YOU WANT!

[EmGusk]

We're sorry this video is no longer available?? that's the last time i wait till after class to watch bathtub vids.

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