Too Much Information: Fun-Size Post!

Most of the thoughts I have about snacks and snack time are snack-sized themselves, so today I will be presenting you with a set of bite-sized entries on all things snacky.

POP TARTS HAIKU
Yum yum yum yum yum
Better than Toaster Strudel
Duh duh duh duh duh

MEMO TO TACO BELL
You know how in the movie Mean Girls, Gretchen tries to make "fetch" into the new slang word and Regina scornfully tells her, "Gretchen, stop trying to make 'fetch' happen?" That's the tone I'm going for when I say the following to Taco Bell:

Stop trying to make "Fourth Meal" happen.

"Fourth Meal" is the marketing campaign crap the Bell has been pushing lately, trying to get us all to buy into the idea that there is a fourth meal in the day that takes place at 2 a.m. and consists only of things like Gorditas and Enchiritos.  Problem is, it's totally lame and, guess what, you can't just invent a new meal, and even if you could, you would definitely have to give it a better name than "Fourth Meal" to make it stick.

SNACK FOOD HALL OF FAME
Pop Tarts, Triscuits, pizza bagels, Rice Krispie treats, nachos, Bugles, S'mores

SNACK FOOD HALL OF LAME
Graham crackers, raisins, trail mix, Funyuns, "Nilla Wafers (sorry, Ben)

SUN-BOT 2K7
Finally, WTF is with the digital makeover they gave the Sun-Maid girl? 

The new commercials where she's walking and talking are the creepiest thing I have ever seen.  She's not even hotter than the Blue Bonnet girl anymore!

If you're going to give raisins a futuristic update, make them taste good or something.

Lauren McMahon (e-mail, website) writes "Too Much Information" on Mondays at noon.  Find out more here.

Comments

[Andrea]

I agree, it creeps me out to see animated logo people. If my syrup bottle ever came alive and started talking to me, I'd shit my pants.

[Tori]

BUGLES!!!! So good!

[D.C.]

Worst haiku ever!
You need to improve your skills --
they're not hard to write.

[Caitlar]

I'd just like to point out that Graham crackers appear in your Snack Food Hall of Lame. But they are a necessary ingredient of s'mores, part of your Snack Food Hall of Fame.

[Lauren]

Amazing what a little marshmallow and chocolate will do.

[EmGusk]

your mean girls/toaster strudel reference is related because gretchen's dad invented them, right?

[Lauren]

I think one subconsciously made me think of the other.

[KELLYq]

a) DC - no hating during my theme week
b) funyuns are delicious
c) boo you whore

[10 points better than every other reader of this blog]

first of all...nilla wafers are eternally linked to banana pudding with me; who eats plain nilla wafers? also, what if fourth meal for you is actually at 3 in the afternoon?