Shiny Happy Caitlar: Hit Parade

I was intrigued recently by one of my favorite sporting events. No, twas not the Phillies, although I am intrigued by my ability to still have hope that we will indeed make the playoffs. It was the World Series of Pop Culture that stunned me a few weeks ago, as two contestants tied one round by getting no questions right. The score was 0-0 the whole time. The category for this round did not seem like a doozy at first, but as the questions scrolled across the screen not even I could answer them. The category was "Lyrics to Current Pop Songs." The contestants had to identify the title and artist of the hit song whose lyrics the host read aloud. And it was really hard! 

I am the kind of person who prides myself on my ability to know the lyrics to songs. I can sing "It's the End of the World as We Know It" and the bridge to "Hook" and "One Week." But like the contestants on the show, I could not get one of the answers. The host read the lyrics in an Alex Trebeck monotone, which probably made it harder. Now, in my defense, I don't usually listen to Top 40 radio, or radio at all. I think this has to do with the job I had before this one where they turned on a radio in the office and left it on the same Top 40 station all day long. Let me tell you, if I have to hear "Promiscuous" or "Hips Don't Lie" one more time, I just might stab my eyes out.

So, oblige me, dear tubbies. I am going to post below song lyrics from current Top 40 songs and you see if you can name that song and artist. And even if you can do that, please just humor me and admit how utterly ridiculous these lyrics are when not set to some catchy beat.

1. I'm Bouncin On My Toe/ Watch Me Super Soak Dat (OH!)/ I'ma Pass It To Arab/ Then He Gon Crank It Up/ Fo Sho (Low)/ Haterz Wanna Be Me/ Soulja Boy, I'm The Man/ They Be Lookin At My Neck/ Sayin Its The Rubberband Man

Okay that one was kind of easy because it gives the name of the artist in the song. It's "Crank Dat" by Soulja Boy. What is he passing and who is Arab? This song is currently #2 on U.S.A. Top 40.

2. And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket/ But I've got to get a move on with my life/ It's time to be a big girl now/ And big girls don't cry

Yeah, this one is easy too because that first line is so just silly that you're like, what? The words don't even go with the beat that well, on top of being massively corny. Oh right, and it's Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry."

3. I uwa like I uwa/ cuz you know them hoes be tryin us/ hoe don't you know I f**k wit fine dimonds/ that look like Pa-me-la/ they fine and they hot bra/ when i'm in the spot bra......

Those lyrics are from "Party Like a Rock Star" by Shop Boyz. Or, as I call it, "Horny Like a Lobster," because that's what it sounds like to me.

4. Cause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor/ It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator/ Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold?

I know I get really cold when someone leaves the fridge door open too long, just like Gwen Stefani in "The Sweet Escape." Those things are pretty powerful.

I know dumb song lyrics isn't a new thing, especially for pop music ("We built this city on rock and roll" anyone?). But they look so funny on screen that it totally makes sense why half of America thinks they could be a pop star a la American Idol. Because with lyrics like these, anyone could write some words that don't make sense and call it a day.

Comments

[Lauren]

WOAH, is that really what Gwen is saying at the part where she talks all fast in that song? Wow.

[KELLYq]

ew sour milk is a gross thing to say you are