The Bathtub

Men in Cages: To Hit, or Not To Hit

So, I’m going to let you all in on a secret desire of mine.  Don’t worry; it’s not the sort of secret desire that, once revealed, will make you blush awkwardly and shy away from future interaction with me.  It doesn’t involve anal beads or nipple clamps or anything like that.  My secret desire isn't nearly so licentious.

I just really want to hit someone.

Emily's Trivia Quiz: Buy Me Some Peanuts and Cracker Jacks

Everyone was expecting D.C. to write a column about baseball.  And then he didn't.  So I decided to take the responsibility and write a quiz about my favorite sport.  P.S. Sorry the intros have been lacking.  School is kicking my butt a little bit and also I just wrote the first four questions of this quiz and then my internet froze and deleted everything.

Shiny Happy Caitlar: Hit Parade

I was intrigued recently by one of my favorite sporting events. No, twas not the Phillies, although I am intrigued by my ability to still have hope that we will indeed make the playoffs. It was the World Series of Pop Culture that stunned me a few weeks ago, as two contestants tied one round by getting no questions right. The score was 0-0 the whole time. The category for this round did not seem like a doozy at first, but as the questions scrolled across the screen not even I could answer them. The category was "Lyrics to Current Pop Songs." The contestants had to identify the title and artist of the hit song whose lyrics the host read aloud. And it was really hard! 

YouTub: . . . and also a double cheesbur

"Also, Phylan will have a montage of people getting knocked unconscious.  If he doesn't, he totally should." - D.C.

I am inclined to agree! So here are the best hits I was able to dig up on YouTube. The first isn't really people getting knocked unconscious in the literal sense, but it's too good not to post, and, well, some of them may have. Below is the Houston Metro trolley facing off against what is apparently a hand-picked set of the worst drivers in the world (alternatively, "Texans").

Reasonable Doubt: 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain't One

Hit me.

So, everyone expects me to write about baseball.  Fine.  I wrote this on Sunday after the last Nationals game at RFK.  Not having a place to post it, Andrea helped out with space. 

"Nationals Bid Optimistic Farewell to RFK"

Seeing as I already wrote that, and I did choose the weekly theme, today you guys get a extra special D.C. double post day!  Rejoice and be glad!

The Omniscient Omtubsman: Snack on This

Bathtub contributors are sweet, salty and sometimes stale, just like real snacks. For example, they are sweet when they are hilarious, salty when they've been swimming in the ocean and stale when they were out too late drinking the night before and can't think well enough to come up with a coherent post.  But, thanks to Internet's insatiable demand for fodder, all our snackable posts are consumed by someone out there in cyberspace. Following the jump we'll play a little game involving snacks and tubtributors.

KELLYq & a: Hittlez Rhymes with Skittlez

If there's one thing I've learned in all my years of schooling, it's that when you have a deadline and you're not prepared to meet it, doing something wacky is just as well.
Today, please be mildly entertained by my musings about hitting. Clearly, I received inspiration from my editor on this one.
Oh, and clearly, I could explain why my post is lacking, but I already used that excuse a couple of weeks ago.

One Nation Under Jerome: Now You Know My Opinion on Jelly Beans

Unfortunately I can't post today.  However, if I had to give you my top 10 "Greatest Hits" for Jelly Belly flavors, they would be, in order:

10) Dr. Pepper; 9) Watermelon; 8) Plum; 7) the light blue ones ; 6) Toasted Marshmellow; 5) Peach; 4) Blueberry; 3) Buttered Popcorn; 2) Raspberry ; 1) Juicy Pear.

Also, it should be noted that Buttered Popcorn is hands down the most polarizing flavor in the history of gelatin-related candy, followed not too distantly by Licorice, Root Beer, and Peanut Butter.

E-Bathing: "Greatest Hits" Must Mean Something Else in Russian

"Greatest" is an adjective indicating ability, quality, or eminence considerably above the normal or average. "Hit" is a noun which is informally used to indicate a piece of music that is successful. Used separately these words indicate a certain level of success. Used together, however, these words take on an oxymoronic meaning in which just about anything can be great or a hit.

Nerdish Leanings: Secrets of Making a Hit Game

Hey jerks: Follow my simple rules if you want to become the next Gunpei Yokoi, Hironobu Sakaguchi, or even Shigeru Miyamoto!