E-Bathing: "Greatest Hits" Must Mean Something Else in Russian

"Greatest" is an adjective indicating ability, quality, or eminence considerably above the normal or average. "Hit" is a noun which is informally used to indicate a piece of music that is successful. Used separately these words indicate a certain level of success. Used together, however, these words take on an oxymoronic meaning in which just about anything can be great or a hit.

This week there is only one auction I would like to bring to your attention (making it the default Mayor's Must-Have of the week). That auction is for the 32 song, 2-disc set of Tatu's greatest hits. That's right -- Tatu. You remember them: they were lesbians and from Russia, and they sang that song "All the things she said." And that's right, I said 32 (thirty-two) songs. That is absolutely ridiculous. Granted that this auction is by Russians for Russians, but being Russian is no excuse for poor taste. I cannot believe that this group, whose biggest claim to fame is faking lesbianism and shouting "F**k war!" in Russian, has actually amassed 32 hits. How was that behavior novel or interesting? They were pretending to be lesbians and being obnoxious: that describes about half of the girls I used to hang out with in 9th grade. And last time I checked, none of the girls I knew got to be famous -- not even in Russia. I'll just chalk this CD up to the high rates of alcoholism in Russia. In any case, if you have $10.00 and an inordinate interest in Russian flesbianism, then you should buy this CD. Watch this auction closely, though, because I have a feeling that Rory Porkham will be bidding.

The Mayor now writes for the Bathtub every Tuesday morning. For more information click here.

Comments

[Tori]

Hahahahahahaha.

(HALF the girls in your 9th grade class were wanna-be lesbians? Clearly I chose the wrong magnet high school.)

[Lauren]

Darn, I have only $9 and an interest in Russian flesbianism. Can that get me anything?

[O.O.]

You forget they had another enormous hit in "They're not gonna get us," so really only 30 are dubious hits.

[Gulliver P. Thistlewhistle]

back when tatu was famous for five minutes, a guy at a party hit on me by talking about how much he liked them for social reasons ("they're hot And inspiring because of their bravery in being such public lesbians"). then my friend told the guy that he had seen them live in st. petersburg and made up an elaborate and hilarious lie about the experience of seeing them in their homeland (which involved lots of over-the-top russian stereotypes and magic). he never caught on. huh. probably a good candidate for that cd.

[The Mayor]

Lauren: $9 will get you a flask of Zelco vodka, which (if imbibed in one sitting), could possibly lead to flesbianism. I don't know Russian any of it will be, but if you can't throw in the extra dollar that's all I can suggest.