KELLYq & a: Cloudy with a Chance of Clanky

me: Justin, I'm so strexxed! School starts Monday and I don't know what to blog about!
Justin: But the theme is so awesome.
me: Right, the theme is awesome, but I can't think of anything to write about that's not about my classroom / school.
Justin: Hm, well a post that was exclusively about you whining about your job would be boring.
me: Crap, really? That was the only idea I had.
Justin: that has nothing to do with weather
me: I was going to call it "Writing from Beneath an Avalanche of Bullshit"
Justin: that is a bullshit connection to the theme
me: crap
Justin: Clanky?
me: Clanky!

Clanky: CLANKY!!!!

Clanky has been asked: "Clanky, what is your favorite weather"? Clanky's answer, is of course: NO WEATHER AT ALL.

All of this talk of weather fills Clanky with robo-contempt. The very concept of being a slave to the whims of an atmosphere is unutterably primitive. Clanky does not sit around on his robo-ass waiting for the weather to become pleasant: Clanky insists on perfectly climate-controlled environments. So, without further ado, here are Clanky's preferred environments.

0. Server Room: Server rooms make for fine vacation getaways. A well-maintained server room will have extremely low humidity and a consistent 293-294 degrees Kelvin. As an added bonus, server rooms tend to have fast internet connections and uninterruptible power supplies!

1. Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado: Cheyenne Mountain is home to a massive underground military bunker. It is naturally cool and humidity-free. There is no wind. There are no birds. There are, however, lots and lots of sophisticated electronics and the assurance of protection against nuclear warfare and all of the nasty electronics-disrupting effects thereof.

2. Robot Planet: Nice and dark, lots of robots, humans under constant oppression: It's heaven!

END COMMUNICATION

"KELLYq & a" runs on Wednesday mornings. Clanky occasionally fills in for human writers when it serves his interests. For more information, click here

Comments

[Lauren]

Clanky might also like to hang out at the Gap. Their store design this season is very stark and navy blue and gray and since nobody likes the Gap anymore it's also empty and the air is very still.

[Tori]

I still like the Gap. (Is this a mistake? Lauren, please guide me. I can't make fashion-related decisions on my own. I recently made lots of Gap purchases. But this was under the guidance of Paran, who, in the past you have told me is not an acceptable style guide . . . )

[Jerome]

Great title on this post

[Lauren]

That depends, Tori--do the clothes still have tags on them?

JK, it's OK to shop at the Gap, but they ARE struggling right now as a company.

[EmGusk]

yeah and like NOTHING is on sale anymore at the gap. but they do have all these random famous people hanging up which makes me think that they're like a worthy cause that i need to support by buying favorite tees and jeans that never fit me.