I don't really have an office. At all. I work in a giant building with screaming children, terrible mothers who STEAL $50 WORTH OF THOMAS TRAINS, overpriced CDs and lots and lots of books. That's not really an office, but it's my office (at least till Tuesday). So, in the spirit of my "office," today you will get a literature quiz. And when I say literature it's a broad term. Because I might even include some James Patterson. And anyone who knows anything about literature knows that someone who "writes" books with other people who just do all the work for you because you couldn't possibly write a new 546 page book every month is a total hack. And J. Pat, if you're reading this, I'd love to see you prove otherwise. Because I sell enough of your damn books. And they probably help pad my paycheck every month. But I will stick with Eloise, Roald Dahl, and ohmygodit'salmosthereandiamgoingtopeemypants Harry Potter! (Which I'm not going to link to, because if you don't know who Harry Potter is you either live in a cave, are really really stupid, or don't have internet access, which means you aren't reading this anyway.) Also, if you're reading this post as soon as it comes out, it means you only have to wait 15 hours and one minute to get your hands on number seven. Just in case you were wondering.
1. Who's the little girl that lives at the Plaza in New York?
a. Eloise
b. Edwina
c. Emily
d. Elizabeth
a. If you read my intro at all, you'll know that my favorite picture book is Eloise. She is awesome and I plan on naming my daughter Eloise.
2. What Orwell book brought us thought police and Big Brother (and I'm not talking about the inane television show)?
a. Animal Farm
b. 1984
c. Brave New World
d. Down and Out in Paris and London
b. 1984, which I'd highly recommend for a good scare during this age of Patriot Acts and whatnot.
3. In probably my favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch says it's a sin to kill a mockingbird. Why?
a. There is not enough meat on a mockingbird
b. Mockingbirds do not have a judicial system therefore we cannot assume their guilt
c. Mockingbirds never hurt anyone
d. Mamma's gonna buy you a mockingbird
c. Mockingbirds never hurt anyone.
4. What is the name of the highly dysfunctional Southern family in Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury?
a. Compton
b. Clemson
c. Compson
d. Clampton
c. Compson, which I continued to misspell throughout my entire 12th grade English paper. But I still loved that book.
5. There's a kids series that I love, and its got literary allusions to Orwell, T.S. Eliot, J.D. Salinger, Plato and even Armani. What's it called?
a. A Series of Unfortunate Events
b. The Babysitter's Club
c. Choose Your Own Adventure <--this music is awesome
d. Captain Underpants
a. A Series of Unfortunate Events. Here's the link to all of the crazy allusions. And I really, really, highly recommend these books to anyone, if you're a literary genius or a 7 year old, you'll love them.
6. The first story in J.D. Salinger's Nine Stories is "A Perfect Day for _____________."
a. Hot Dogs
b. Esme
c. Bananafish
d. Jake Gyllenhaal
c. Bananafish. But "For Esme - with Love and Squalor" is a story. Esme is also a villain in A Series of Unfortunate Events. And Jake Gyllenhaal named his production company "Nine Stories" after this book. See, so many of my favorite things are mushed together!
7. Which one of these is a giant in The BFG?
a. The Bonecrusher
b. The Flyswatter
c. The Toesquisher
d. The Toddybumper
a. The Bonecrusher
8. Which of the following New York Times bestsellers for this week do I recommend?
a. The Quickie by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge
b. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
c. Bungalow 2 by Danielle Steel
d. The Sixth Target by James Patterson
b. I'm sure this was a hard one for you all. It's by the same guy who wrote The Kite Runner which is also stellar. Yeah, J. Pat has two on the NYT bestsellers. Whatevs though, this British wizard I know is totally going to blow them all out of the water in a few hours...
In the meantime...
p.s. the guy at the end totally looks like the Quaker Oats guy.
and also this:
Jordie LaForge isn't blind?
Posted by: D.C. | July 20, 2007 at 02:28 PM
Don't hate me cause I can write 463 books in one calendar year. FACT: I just sold my one TRILLIONTH copy of one of my many spectacular books. I am so great because I am worth 84.3 billion dollars. I just bought Microsoft and Exxon this afternoon, for fun. I am going to go write a book about it now.... DONE. Look for it on your shelves five minutes ago. GOOD DAY.
Posted by: James Patterson | July 20, 2007 at 04:45 PM