Too Much Information: The Mom Edition

Whereas my Dad's concept of the Internet is still kind of hazy, my mom has made a lot of progress with her computer skills over the past few years.  Of course, I still get the occasional phone call asking for help with something computer-related, but the content of those calls has progressed remarkably in the past few years; no longer am I wearily explaining that the terms "left click" and "right click" have nothing to do with what hand you are supposed to use to perform the action.  (Remember those days, mom?)

Anyway, my Internet-savvy mother is an avid reader of LMNOP and follows The Bathtub as well, so picking out a topic for me was an easy task for her.  When I visited my parents' house for dinner last week, she had a few ideas ready.  We talked them over and settled on "Ways I am Like My Mother."

There are a number of ways in which I definitely am like my mom, but there is one in particular that is highly relevant to this column.  As the bio page notes, I enjoy "learning and enforcing rules," and this is a proclivity I definitely inherited from her.

Maybe it's because she's the daughter of a police chief, or maybe it's just one of those things you can't really explain; either way, my mom has an amazing capacity for learning rules. This has made her popular with the various sports teams her kids have played on over the years, as she does a fierce job of handling the score book.  In fact, when my brother was little and my mom was the scorekeeper for his Little League team, she even won a game for them.  You see, the other team's coach had neglected to play one of his players in the field for the requisite number of half-innings, and my mom noticed this as she was reviewing the score book at the end of the game.  My brother's team had lost, but after Mom approached the ump to point the other coach's error out, the official had no choice but to take the opponent's win away and give it to my brother's team.  My mom insists that she wasn't trying to cause a scene and that she certainly didn't mean to make those little boys on the other team cry, but there was no taking back what her crack enforcement skills had wrought.  The best part?  The other team was sponsored by my dad's company.  All he had to say about it was, "Please tell me nobody on the other team got your last name."

When she's not keeping Little League coaches honest, my mom will also be glad to tell you who has the property rights to the tree that falls on the border of two neighbors' yards, or whether or not the Catholic Church requires you to keep your Sunday Mass obligation if you already went to someone's wedding on Saturday morning.  She's got a vast mental index of every set of rules from the Ten Commandments to the Macy's return policy and beyond, and she'll be glad to cite her sources if you dare doubt the advisability of keeping your credit card receipts for seven years or checking the county bylaws before you paint your house that flashy bright yellow.  But why would you doubt her?  You've seen what she can do:

I have a feeling some of you are thinking that this week's post explains a lot about me.  Can it really be all that surprising that few things in life give me more pleasure than getting to buzz someone for using an illegal word in a game of Taboo?  I'm my mother's daughter, after all.  And my mom rules.

Lauren McMahon (e-mail, website) writes "Too Much Information" on Mondays at noon.  Find out more here.

Comments

[the mayor]

Lauren does learn and enforce rules. She was a ref when we played kickball and I have several emails that prove that she runs the bathtub with an iron bathmitt. I have not had the pleasure of speaking with Lauren's mother at length, but I'm convinced from this post that they're alike.

WE may have been losing the game but it was not over. The ump called the game at that point. Our coach begged him to let them play. Had the other coach bothered to report the substitution to me like he was supposed to, I would have told him beforehand that he couldn't play that player yet.

PS-I've really never known you to be a rule follower. if anything you'd be more apt to break the rules.

[Tori]

Ooh BURN from Momma McMahon!

[Lauren]

hahahahaha