KELLYq&a: Rock Paper Hangover

Until 3 am this morning, I was in Las Vegas with Lauren to support a friend in the Bud Light Rock Paper Scissors National Championship. If you haven't ever been to Las Vegas, I highly reccommend you go. I didn't know if I'd like it at first, but I adored that town in all its glittery glory. Several factors contributed to this enjoyment: delightful company, matching Tshirts, a free hotel room at the Magnificent Mandalay Bay, and as much free Bud Light as I could ever want.
When the drinks are free, I lose all restraint. I am suddenly capable of consuming more alcohol than I would normally be able to do. I drank so much Bud Light that it began to taste like water to me. The good people at Bud Light even sent buckets of it to our room! Needless to say, I had an incredible hangover on Monday morning.
This was not the first time I have been incredibly, incapacitatingly hungover. A penchant for excess and a suspected allergy to rum has, on more than one occasion, rendered me in this unpleasant state. For your reference, I have compiled a list of 24 things I enjoy when feeling so horrid, and I hope that, should you ever find yourself in this state, it can give you some ideas.

24 Things I Like to Have When I am Hungover
1. A Friend to Complain to.
2. A hot shower.
3. A Law and Order Marathon.
4. Failing that, a Top Model Marathon.
5. Ooh, even better, a Project Runway Marathon.
6. Or maybe a mindless movie on TNT.
7. You get the idea, Television. Television is essential here.
8. A cheesesteak. Oh god, cheese steaks are glorious.
9. Gatorade.
10. Vitamin Water. Ooh, Smart Water. Anything but regular water.
11. If a cheesesteak is too daunting, crackers.
12. A couch.
13. A straw. For the Gatorade. Because lifting the glass is too much work.
14. A blanket. To wear instead of pants. Pants are far too constricting.
15. Advil + Tums cocktail. x2.
16. Kleenex Cottonelle brand Toilet paper. You know.
17. The Sims 2.
18. Maybe, maybe a glass of water at this point. Probably just more Gatorade.
19. A sleepy kitten. If the kitten is wild and crazy, eff that.
20. Someone to bring me Munchos.
21. Sunglasses. Sometimes it's too bright, even inside.
22. To talk in a funny accent.
23. The internet, for hours and hours.
24. Someone to roll their eyes when I promise myself to never drink again.

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Comments

[Lauren]

Yeah you probably could have filled the whole list with the TV shows you like to watch hungover, so good restraint stopping at 7. I'm guessing that was just before Dawson's Creek?

[the mayor]

It sounds like you need a helper monkey to get through a hangover.

[Buddy Love]

Buddy Love's uno numero hangover suggestion:

Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief: http://www.alka-seltzer.com/asmr/asmr.htm

Do it. Do it.

[Tori]

Buddy Love, I also used to be an enormous proponent of Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief. The stuff is magic. You think you're hung over, you consume it, and then you're all like, "Huh . . . I guess I didn't drink last night."

BUT, word to the wise: Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief contains aspirin. And you can suddenly develop a severe allergy to aspirin. I did. And when I used Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief, serious shit went down.

[Lauren]

How have I not heard of that stuff before? It looks amazing! I kind of can't wait for my next hangover.

[Buddy Love]

Good advice, Tori.

*Exclaimer: If yo allergic to aspirin, don't be taken the Morning Relief, lest the shit go down.

I recommend tomato juice. tomato juice and 'wayne's world', one of the best hungover movies ever (plus the "if you're gonna spew, spew into this" part)

[Tori]

Ha, did you guys check out the Interesting Info on Hangover Cures on the Morning Relief Website?

+"To cure hangovers in Holland, many eat raw baby herring covered in onions."
+"Popular hangover cures in Puerto Rico involve rubbing lemons or limes on the underarms."
+"Productivity losses in the workplace due to hangovers are $148 billion . . . Maybe companies should include Alka-Seltzer® Morning Relief™ as part of their benefits package."

[Jerome]

Man, that Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief FAQ page is convincing. I sorta want to take some right now just to see what happens.

[Lauren]

Let's change The Bathtub to the Alka Seltzer Morning Relief Fan Blog

[Buddy Love]

Lauren, Morning Relief is so good that they could make a brazillion dollars off its sales. Alas, they don't market it as they should.

If there was a 'Morning Relief Street Team', I would seriously consider joining it.

[Tori]

Apparently they did send street teams to Mardi Gras and some spring break destinations.

[Inactive account]

I hope nothing bad happens to your Sims when you play hungover...

[Buddy Love]

Update: Just back from the local CVS. No Morning Relief to be found. Either they have sold out, or it's a RARE commodity.

Just another example of the Man trying to keep me down....

[EmGusk]

<3 lauren & elle's couch + maury povich marathon

[KELLYq]

I am shocked that no one called me out on making another list like jerome did

[Gorg-O]

What do you think of people who think that Rock, Paper, Scissors should not be aired on ESPN2? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Afzu5PQq_6A

That guy doesn't seem very credible.

[D.C.]

KIGE RAMSEY IS A MEDIA KINGPIN

[Gorg-O]

I agree with D.C.; I wouldn't disregard Kige Ramsey's opinion lightly.