The Bathtub: Jim Ramstad's Corner: I Think Zoos Are Terrible

Congressman Jim Ramstad here, reporting from the 3rd Congressional District of Minnesota (possibly--I'm not sure which. It's the cold one, whatever it is).

Unfortunately, Rory has been grounded by his mother and can't come out and play today. Which is a good thing, because as we all know, Rory's patriotism has come into question because of his rabid support for the awful Zoo Reform Act. Which is what I'm here to talk about today.

As Jerome has likely made you aware, I have long not been a fan of zoos. I can admit it--in fact, that information is available on the public record. In 2000 I ran under the slogan "Vote Ramstad--Zoos Must Be Destroyed." In 1998, I ran under the slogan, "A Zoo Saved Is a Zoo Earned, But I Hate Zoos." In 1996 I ran under the slogan, "Lower Taxes, Less Government." That year I was pretty much ok with zoos.

But anyway, in conclusion--I refuse to take this issue of Zoo Reform seriously unless people call my office at (202) 225-2871 and tell my staff "I want you and Jerome from www.thebathtub.net to Zoobate this important issue of Zoo Reform." And I'm talking CONSTANTLY call me. C'mon, scared? The only thing that will change my mind is several phone calls, and I would be quite willing to Zoobate Jerome. In the meantime, I'll be spitting in Tai Shan the Panda's general direction, which I will be doing because of my hatred of zoos.

(Editor's note: We at the Bathtub have not been able to authenticate whether or not this is ACTUALLY Rep. Jim Ramstad, so we'll have to take him at his word that he is.)