Emily's Trivia Quiz: My Yidishe Mamma

So, when asking my mom what she wanted me to write about this week, she declined to come up with anything right away.  After some nagging by yours truly (I was taught by the master), I finally got a topic from her: Famous Mothers.  At the end of her e-mail was this, in parenthesis: "(artists, Jewish mothers in history, writers, humor, etc.)" Ok, now I know what she REALLY wants me to write about: Jewish mothers.  Did you see how she stealthily fit it in there?  And right after, it says "writers, humor, etc."  Are there any humor writers who aren't Jewish?  So the theme for the week, is a quiz on famous Jewish mothers.  Because I really had no other choice in the matter.  Thanks mom! (Side note: Jewish mothers were difficult, so I had some chutzpah and covered famous Jews in general, which I'm sure Mom will enjoy even more.  Plus in order to be considered Jewish, they all must have Jewish mothers, and without them this quiz would not be possible.)

1. Straight up now tell me, which one of these famous ladies is actually 100% Jewish, bubbelah?
a. Aalyiah
b. Kelly Clarkson
c. Janet Jackson
d. Paula Abdul

d. Paula Abdul's dad was a Mizrahi Syrian Jew who immigrated with his family to Brazil and then to the U.S.and her mom is also Jewish and originally from Winnipeg, Canada. 

2. When bragging at the deli over bagels and schmeer on Saturday after shul, this famous actress' mom said, "My daughter, the actress, married that boychick Bogie, even though he isn't a Jew, but what can I do?  Oy.  At least he's good looking though, she could do worse?"
a. Lauren Bacall
b. Greta Garbo
c. Marilyn Monroe
d. Lana Turner

 

a. Lauren Bacall was born in New York as Betty Joan Perskel and was the only child of Jewish immigrants, William Perske (a relative of former Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres) and Natalie Weinstein-Bacal. She later married (and then divorced) Humphrey Bogart.  And, as far as I know, Ms. Weinstein-Bacal did not say that quote.

3. Judith Cohen is the mother of this actor, who played a Jewish doctor in one episode of Will & Grace but is most famous for his role as an educator of ROCK.  When asked about his guest role on Will & Grace, Ms. Cohen was quoted saying "So, he couldn't get his PhD, but at least he played a schmegge doctor on television...My Hadassah group should complain?"
a. Dewey Finn
b. Ned Schneebly
c. Jack Black
d. Jack White

c. Jack Black, who was raised Jewish by his rocket scientist parents, Judith and his father Thomas Jack Black, Sr. who converted after marrying Judith.  And I totally made up that quote.

4. A favorite of the Bathtub crew, this good Jewish boy, a McSweeney's contributer, is the one to turn to when looking for data about loving certain recent decades.  He changed his last name from Schwartz when stepping into show-biz and has gotten his picture taken with KELLYq, Lauren and Emily (but it's hard to see who he is through all the schmutz).
a. Ben Folds
b. Michael Ian Black
c. Jack Black
d. Lewis Black

b. Michael Ian Black was born Michael Schwartz in Chicago, Illinois to Jill and Robert Schwartz.  He grew up in Hillsborough, New Jersey.  And his mother is kvelling.

5. This famous actor's Bar Mitzvah was at a homeless shelter because his parents wanted to instill in him "a sense of gratitude for his privileged lifestyle."  And to this day, the homeless men who live there are dancing the Hora and studying Talmud.  He also starred in Brokeback Mountain, playing a faygeleh.
a. Heath Ledger
b. Jake Gyllenhaal
c. Randy Quaid
d. Jack Black

b. Jake Gyllenhaal.  And I obviously made up the part about the homeless men.  But he did have his Bar Mitzvah at a homeless shelter!

6. This employee of The Office went to Hebrew School as a child, practiced Hinduism as a teenager, but is now back to keeping Kosher and only dating nice Jewish boys (no goys!).  Wait till Michael Scott finds out.  I feel a Diversity Day Sensitivity Training coming on...Oy vey.
a. Jenna Fischer
b. Angela Kinsey
c. Jan Levinson
d. Rashida Jones

d. Rashida Jones, who was recently quoted saying, "In this day and age, you can choose how you practice and what is your relationship with God. I feel pretty strongly about my connection, definitely through the Jewish traditions and the things that I learned dating the guy that I dated. My boyfriends tend to be Jewish and also be practicing."  So I guess Jim Halpert is out?  Come on Pam!  (P.S. B.J. Novak, Ryan in The Office is also Jewish and his real name is Benjamin Joseph Manaly Novak...Karen should probably date him.)

7. When asked about her daughter's role on HBO's Sopranos, this actress' mother said "What?  Well, she's playing a shiksa,  better than those others who are so fardrayt on that show.  But still, she couldn't marry a lawyer?  She has to be with that Tony gonif?"
a. Jamie-Lynn Sigler
b. Edie Falco
c. Drea de Matteo
d. Meadow Soprano

a. Jamie-Lynn was born in Queens to a Jewish father and a Cuban mother who converted to Judaism.  And her mom did not say that quote.  As far as I know. 

I hope you enjoyed your Yiddish lesson too.  For more Yiddish-isms visit here.

Comments

[Jerome]

So, I just realized that every one of your titles is a song title/lyric . . . though I don't know if this one is. Still, I'm amazed it took me this long.

wow- that's a bunch of hot jews right there. how/where did you guys meet michael ian black (or schwartz, as it were)?

[Dad]

Another masterpiece!!! But, who the hell is Michael Ian Black? What role in "The Office" does Rashida Jones play? Which character is Ryan?

The most shocking fact was Jake Gyllenhaal (and Maggie) is (are) Jewish!

[EmGusk]

to answer (late, i know) it's from some musical, it was at maryland when he was giving a performance and we pissed off the entire audience because the camera was malfunctioning, and i sent my dad an e-mail explaining all of that because i'm pretty sure everyone else here knows MIB and everyone on the office.

[Joan268]

http://www.repsmake.com/watches/replica-rolex-354.html As far as I know.