My coworker of mine left our firm and last night was her goodbye happy hour. For me, it was happy several hours and now it is 9:30 am and I am sitting at my desk, still drunk. So because I am slightly incapacitated, I am going to allow my friend Vanessa to dazzle you with her mad astrology skills.
Vanessa-damus: I'm not going to lie, and maybe this makes me a bad person, but I read the horoscopes in the paper before the front page. I mean what if my horoscope was going to tell me "You will read some bad news"? I'm a Gemini, but unlike my zodiac's love of the unknown, I am one for predictability (unless it's a 21st b-day party, as mentioned in Shiny Happy Caitlar's post from a few weeks ago). Hence I read the horoscope and know everything that I will encounter for that day. Ok, IR-regardless, here is my guest post!
Aries : The Ram's aggressive behavior should be put to good use for fiscal freedom. Do not let yourself be swindled into a deal that may not benefit you. Do not play the lottery.
Taurus: Although it may be tempting to start planning for the future, be sure to set aside time to reap the rewards of your determination with presents. It is time to indulge yourself in material pleasure; it may not lead to initial monetary gain, but the reward will be realized in time.
Gemini: Twins may find their checkbook and their personal life imbalanced. Focusing on finding harmony between a need to work hard and play hard will be an important goal this week. Working hard will make play even sweeter.
Cancer: Your mood should be on the upswing as your tax refunds arrive in the mail. Although the Crab's domestic and caring side will be prone to invest gain in others, be sure to treat yourself. You deserve it! Buy yourself a Wii.
Leo: The proud Lion should not be too boastful this week. Someone around you may feel compelled to celebrate in your great accumulation of wealth, but are halted by your inconsiderateness. Perhaps buy someone an ice cream cone.
Virgo: Lucky Numbers: 83, 1040EZ, 6, 11, W2.
Libra: Along with Gemini, your scales may seem to feel off this week. Over thinking has caused you to lose a sense of the bigger picture. Don't throw your money away in an ATM, and be sure to keep your receipt in case you do.
Scorpio: Although ruled by fake planet Pluto, Scorpions should not have faux responses to authority figures, particularly governmental bodies with three-letter acronyms. Be wise and open this week.
Sagittarius: You have made wise decisions recently and your change purse is bursting at the seems. Ensuring personal happiness will lead to further business success.
Capricorn: Don't let April showers keep you from acquiring a sunny financial disposition. Your ambition and intellect must trump your craving for stability and certainty. If a promotion could be negotiated its time to take a risk and put everything on the line.
Aquarius: When it comes to your financial situation, look within yourself and you will know the truth.
Pisces: You will tell a bad story this week. Try adding "….and then I found $20 dollars" at the end.
"Shiny Happy Caitlar" runs on Thursday afternoons. For more information, click here.
I am a pisces and I will definitely tell a bad story this week. This woman is a genius!
Posted by: the mayor | April 20, 2007 at 10:19 AM
Taurus is dead-on, too. All the justification I need to go to Sephora at lunch break and buy the new lip stain I want.
Posted by: Lauren | April 20, 2007 at 10:23 AM
I'm [x] and [vague non-substantive predictions] are DEAD ON!
Posted by: Phylan | April 20, 2007 at 11:23 AM
Having been at this new job for all of three weeks, I think Vanessa-damus is totally right in recommending that I ask for a promotion. (Especially given how much work I accomplish on Fridays . . . )
Posted by: Tori | April 20, 2007 at 11:30 AM