Nerdish Leanings: Humorous Allergy Joke

Well, spring is in the air. And we all know what that means: plants are having dirty sex and they're using your sinuses to clean up the wet spot. While we're all familiar with "hay fever" and the dangers of "ragweed," there are some debilitating nerd allergies that you might not be familiar with. Hit the jump for the low-down on some of geekery's most dangerous allergies.

Keyboard crunk
Beds and sofas get dust bunnies. Keyboards get crunk goblins. I'm pretty sure that if a muffin has ever been within 20 feet of your computer, there are at least 8 or 10 ounces of crumbs in your keyboard. Add some delicious energy drinks to the mix, and you've got the rich soup of life. For most people, this phenomenon falls somewhere in the range of repulsion between "absolute disgust" and "an eccentric hobby" (for the crunk goblin cultivation crowd). However, some unfortunate souls have weak constitutions that can't tolerate exposure to these critters. For those who type all day, every day, it can be a real liability. It makes your hands look like this

and that's NASTY.

Screen Radiation
So it turns out that some people think that radiation can be good for you. I skimmed the first half of this article pretty thorougly, and the story seems to check out. I'm going to have to go with science on this one. But that low-dose of radiation constantly pouring into your face can be too much for some.
Some people are over-sensitive to screen radiation and can't read blogs, use wikipedia, make uninformed comments about video games they've barely even played, or misspell the word "your" and type z's instead of s's. This is what happpens to them if for a split second they glance at a monitor

So next time that you pick a chunk of nasty out of your keyboard or bask in the soothing glow of an lolcat you should feel lucky. Unless your face melts or the skin peels off of your hands. In which case you should get some cortisone.

Justin Douglas writes "Nerdish Leanings" for The Bathtub on Monday afternoons.  You can e-mail him at j.d.bathtub@gmail.com.

Comments

[Tito]

Enough of Justin Douglas's nerd leanery! What does the warshing machine think of spring?

[Jerome]

I agree, bring on the warshing machine! Especially since I was going to write about it, you jerk.

[Phylan]

I would have gone with "Spring is simply appollen'"

[Clanky]

The temperature and moisture levels of the earth "spring" season fall within Clanky's safe operating ranges; as such, Clanky is indifferent towards it. Clanky prefers winter, where the extra cooling allows his robo-brain to function at maximum efficiency.

Clanky wishes it to be known that "washing machine" is an ethnic slur. Clanky will be contacting Al Robo-Sharpton so that he may make bombastic and self-serving remarks on behalf of persecuted robots everywhere.

[Lauren]

That's a catchy e-mail address you got there, Clankz