KELLYq & a: Three Problems Regarding Springtime

By the time you read this, I will be at a summer camp with 130 children.
"Say WHAT? KELLYq, it's not summer."
True, but all 6th graders in my county have to go to camp with their teachers for about three days. We call it Outdoor Education. While there, they learn a variety of incredibly useful things through valuable, life changing experiences like: getting lost in the woods, finding trash in a stream, and visiting an old graveyard (we call that the "history hike!").
I really enjoyed Outdoor Ed when I went as a kid, and I enjoyed it much more last year as a teacher chaperone. All schools rotate what time of year they go to Outdoor Ed, and last year we had the good fortune to go in the middle of February.
"Say WHAT? KELLYq, you hate cold weather."
True, it was ball-ass cold when we went last year, but when it comes to Outdoor Education, Spring sucks compared to glorious, frigid Winter. After the jump, I'll detail three problems regarding springtime.

Problem One: Bugs
Bugs are gross, yes. I was once afraid of them myself, and still am when a wasp flies in my apartment or there's a spider in my car or something. But children are irrationally afraid of bugs, and being around them instantly makes you tougher and annoyed whenever they freak out over ANOTHER daddy long legs. In the winter, all bugs burrow deep, deep under the ground where they cannot bite, sting, or terrify you.

Problem Two: Sweat
I will take a group of whining, shivering children over smelly ones ANY DAY. 6th grade is that lovely time when many kids have caught the puberty train to stank town but no one has told them to wear deodorant. That's part of the Health curriculum in 7th grade, I think. Remember when they give you little deodorant and tampon samples? Hilarious. I know a kid who shoved his up his nose (the tampon, not the deodorant). Point is, no one smells in Winter.

Problem Three: Spring Fever
In winter, it's too cold for any of my little hormone-filled darlings to think about touching each other. In spring, it's not. The point is, while you boners are out enjoying the bright spring sunshine and pretty spring flowers, I'll be lecturing a pair of sweaty, stinky children for trying to make out while under a hornets' nest. I hope there's a blizzard when we go next year.

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Comments

[Tori]

Hooray for Outdoor Ed!
(I seem to recall falling in a creek when I went . . .)

[Jerome]

Say WHAT?!?!

[Lauren]

I didn't get to go to Outdoor Education. My school was so poor we barely got an Indoor Education.

Zing!

True, though. Catholic schools are extremely underfunded.

[EmGusk]

I loved Outdoor Ed, even though I got food poisoning because the chaperone didn't let me keep my stew on the fire for long enough and I ate raw meat. that's Bethesda for you though, I learned the joys of steak tartar at Outdoor Ed.