The Bathtub

Nerdish Leanings: The Secret History of the Internet

As we all know, in 1968 the internet sprang fully-formed from the loins of Zeus. But what happened next? This week, I'll be bringing you a release from the history department of the Nerdish Leanings department of the Bathtub. It's time to get all the dirty little secrets of the internet into the tub for a good scrubbin'.

Too Much Information: I Wouldn't Mind Being Doomed to Repeat a Few Hours Playing Pharaoh

They say that those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it, but fear not, friends--I am pleased to announce that I have a few areas covered for us.  For example, rest assured that I can protect us from the recurrence of--

1. The sinking of the Titanic
2. Dinosaurs
3. Various mishaps along the Oregon Trail (such as cholera, drowning in rivers, and having sets of clothing stolen)

--and that's just a mere sampling of the areas of my historic expertise!

In today's post, I will list the areas of historical study about which I am most knowledgeable.

Theme for the Week of 4/30/07: History

As a top-of-the-line robotic entity, Clanky's memory is flawless. At a nanosecond's notice, Clanky can perfectly retrieve even the most trivial of data from his memory banks. There is not a human being alive that can approach Clanky's powers of recall.

However, some humans feel the urge to retain data across generations. This activity is known by the human word "History." Clanky views "History" with robo-scorn: the imminent destruction of humanity will render useless most information. Clanky advises humanity to document the art of trapping mutant rats in the remains of destroyed radioactive cities! It will soon be applicable! hat. hat. hat. hat. hat.

Clanky robo-desires the bathtub humans to discuss this "History" for his robo-derision!

Men in Cages: In Defense of 'The Man Show'

What's so great about springs?
Many things, foremost among them, the fact that had we no springs, we would have no trampolines.

What's so great about trampolines?
Many things, foremost among them, the fact that had we no trampolines, we would have no Girls Jumping on Trampolines.

What's so great about Girls Jumping on Trampolines?
Need you really ask this question?

Emily's Trivia Quiz: Fun For a Girl and a Boy!

I love spring.  It's a beautiful season where everything is in full bloom, the birds come back and sing, pollen floats through the air at an unbelievable rate,  pools reopen, baseball players start rounding the bases again, and I have the tendency to skip out on things so I can just go outside.  But another fun spring is one of the best toys ever invented: THE SLINKY.  In the spirit of the best-marketed spring ever, here's trivia about Slinky, the toy that's fun for a boy and a girl.  What a sales pitch!

The Mayor's Weekly Address:Toothless Spring

At the very time that you were jumping into the tub to start this day with a healthy dose of vituperation, I was having my wisdom teeth removed. Though oral surgery will not tame my anger, the potent pain killers I've been prescribed are an entirely different story. If you want to read something angry about spring, go here because I've already ranted about a spring-related issue. All I'm offering today is some drugged up poetry about spring. As you read, remember that I am under the influence of very strong pain killers and without the benefit of the extra wisdom my molars had afforded me up until this morning. Also, don't be surprised if I'm missing a few I's and K's.

Shiny Happy Caitlar: To Be Continued

I switched with the Mayor and it's coming, I swear. And it's gonna be good.

YouTub: Go Outside

Seriously, it's spring, go outside instead of reading this post. In fact, I'm going to make you by not posting today. Take that.

KELLYq & a: Three Problems Regarding Springtime

By the time you read this, I will be at a summer camp with 130 children.
"Say WHAT? KELLYq, it's not summer."
True, but all 6th graders in my county have to go to camp with their teachers for about three days. We call it Outdoor Education. While there, they learn a variety of incredibly useful things through valuable, life changing experiences like: getting lost in the woods, finding trash in a stream, and visiting an old graveyard (we call that the "history hike!").
I really enjoyed Outdoor Ed when I went as a kid, and I enjoyed it much more last year as a teacher chaperone. All schools rotate what time of year they go to Outdoor Ed, and last year we had the good fortune to go in the middle of February.
"Say WHAT? KELLYq, you hate cold weather."
True, it was ball-ass cold when we went last year, but when it comes to Outdoor Education, Spring sucks compared to glorious, frigid Winter. After the jump, I'll detail three problems regarding springtime.

One Nation Under Jerome: Silver SPRANK

As I understand it, there are exactly four things that happen in the spring: a) Animals you hate like bees have sex at an alarming rate, b) they finally stop toying with us and start to reveal some shit on LOST, c) Congressman Jim Ramstad organizes his annual "I Hate Zoos" March on Washington, and d) something about bird migration. But as a great man once said, "You know what else has the word 'spring' in it? Silver Spring--Jerome's hometown!!"

Well put, Rory. And sure enough, I wouldn't be able to write about this whole nation very well if I couldn't tell you about my hometown, now could I? After the jump, I'll show you how to put the "spring" in "Silver Spring."