The Bathtub

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Men in Cages: The Wonderful World of Sexism

Feminists hate Disney.  A lot.

It's not that Walt was a womanizer (I have no idea whether or not this is true) or that legions of women become makedly stupider every year upon donning mouse ears (I am absolutely certain that this is true, though it's not really Disney's fault).  No, it's that the women featured in Disney animated classics are disasterously vapid.

Critically Reclaimed: The Beautiful Hope of Cryonics

As everyone knows, Walt Disney was frozen in suspended animation and buried under Disneyland in 1966.  His death and other burial information were falsified in order to allow this innovative animator a chance to reclaim past glory once modern science was finally able to cure, ya know, dying.  Unfortunately for the rest of us poor souls, the option of freezing ones near the end of life remains illegal, leading to a situation in which one can be frozen, but only once all hope is lost.  Stick around after the jump for more on this short-sighted legal precedent, as well as the amazing science of cryonics.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

So you all already know that I heart Disney.  So this shouldn't be too difficult for me.  But there is such an overwhelming amount of Disney trivia, that I'm afraid we might drown.  So I'm going to try to keep it short, simple and fun.  And possibly interesting.  Also,  you should know that my photo is of me in MGM Studios, which opened on May 1, 1989.  Have funnnnnnn...

   

Shiny Happy Caitlar: Aitlarcay and the 65,000 H's

Once upon a time there was a beautiful queen, Aitlarcay, who lived in a magical land called Usimmigration. Everyday the gentle queen helped hundreds of people called "degreed professionals" from far off places across the big ocean, like India, China, and Mexico, to wade their way through Usimmigration and live and work happily like the queen herself on this side of the water. These degreed professionals were all very nice and very smart. They knew all about things that Aitlarcay did not, like computers and applications and databases. In fact, not enough people where Aitlarcay lived knew about these things, so she was happy to help them help her land flourish.

YouTub: Too Busy to Make a Pussycat Double Entendre

I apologize, but I've been terribly busy this week doing real employed-people stuff (Tori, I'll explain later). So I'll give you two options this week. You can go with the cheap laugh that is only tangentially theme-related (with a slight aftertaste of guilt):

Or, for the more patient, the best Disney animated film ever produced - that's right, Disney is opening the vault for a limited time only for this once in a lifetime re-mastering of a bona fide classic:

The Mayor's Weekly Address: Disjointed Disney Musings

I was excited to lay into the Disney corporation this week. After all, this week's theme provides a unique intersection of two things I like to mock: children and entertainment. However, it turns out that I have a job. Moreover, this job is expecting me to do work (cue the track of Jerome's trademarked "Say What?"). Apparently I have to go to a conference on children's development, which is somewhat similar to a boring Disney world for researchers but more child-focused and with fewer animatronics. So rather than write full paragraphs, the best that I can do with the time that I have is a list. Read and it like it because, really, what else are you doing right now?

KELLYq & a: Magical World of Movie Rental

Many of us loved Disney movies as children, but as we move into adulthood, we have trouble finding Disney movies that suit our particular needs. While, as 8 year olds, we were content to catch re-runs of The Lion King Three: Pumbaa's Revenge, we no longer find such dribble compelling. Except for Emily. She has an extensive collection of Disney movie sequels. A quick search on IMDb tells us that Walt Disney Pictures has put 733 movies out into the world. 733! Understandably, you may come across some difficulty deciding which movie to put in your Netflix queue. Never fear, loyal readers! I will help you decide which Disney Movie to rent tonight!

One Nation Under Jerome: Dissing Disney

Emgusk and I have a lot in common, probably. She went to Maryland, and I went to Maryland. She has appeared on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, and I Want To Be a Millionaire. And so on. But one thing she and I disagree on, and have often argued violently about, is the desirability of Disney and Disney-related products. So, sorry to be Scrooge McDuck on this one, but I think Disney is Scrooge McLAME.

So, here are five things I don't understand about Disney. What's the deal with . . .

Reasonable Doubt: Law and Order: The Magic Kingdom

Monday, March 26
Enchanted Castle Apartments
8:45 AM

[dunh-dunnh]