Hello, World

Whether you’re a professional computer-start-up-watcher, or just somebody that occasionally has to turn on a computer, you’ve seen and heard a start-up or two. The way that our happy silicon friends introduce themselves to us says a lot about their personalities (computeralities?). This is the sort of matter that weighs heavily on my mind.

The Uncle Pennybagseses of Windows invested so much effort in their startup sounds that it merited an NPR piece.

When you hire Brian Eno to produce 5 seconds of sound for you, you are trying too hard. They're like that kid in 3rd grade that always claimed he had a Neo-Geo, but nobody ever went to his house to find out if it was true or not because he always smelled like sauerkraut. Or something like that. I guess that the sauerkraut is pretty irrelevant. The point is, they’re trying too hard to be cool.

Apple, however, was able to make a simple, euphonious sound out of three chords that stood up for many years. It’s a good manly sound. You can tell this wasn’t made by some frilly-panted, lute-playing dandy. This was probably made by a real tough guy, minutes before or after killing a bear with a knife. Probably both. And look at this cheery fellow! It's like he's saying "Would you like to be my friend? We can have ever so much fun together."

And Linux...

You can put as many endearing penguins on the screen as you want, but this still says "I simply couldn't be bothered to put on pants today."

Justin Douglas writes "Nerdish Leanings" for The Bathtub on Monday afternoons.  You can e-mail him at j.d.bathtub@gmail.com.

Comments

[Lauren]

Wow, I think your bio picture looks EXACTLY like the kind of person who would have written this article. Well done.

[KELLYq]

what exactly is a "fancy console," Linux? Nothing about that screen is fancy, except perhaps the use of cyan

[Tori]

I hereby proclaim "lute-playing dandy" to be my official favorite insult of the week.

[Lauren]

And it's only Monday! (OK, Tuesday now)

[D.C.]

Killing a bear with a knife? I didn't know Rory B. Porkham composed the start-up sound.